onempty
Junior Member
I'm almost free...
Posts: 60
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by onempty on Jan 30, 2022 22:43:42 GMT -5
…and I liked it. Wife got Covid so I had to sleep on an air mattress in the living room while she was quarantined to the master suite. She was pretty sick for awhile but ok now. I ended up getting it also but was very mild and barely bothered me.
We were doing pretty good with reset sex but that ended after our wonderful vacation in Tenn in mid December. Only one time since then and not at all in January.
I rather like not being told to turn over or stop doing something else that annoys her. It’s nice not to have that body next to me and just long for a touch or anything at all intimate. If I want to watch porn or jerk off I can. I was going to move back in tonight but after a small argument I decided to stay in here again. I don’t care if it’s permanent to tell you the truth.
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Post by ironhamster on Jan 30, 2022 23:51:34 GMT -5
Whichever way, do what makes you feel comfortable. I slept separately for most of the last five years of my marriage. It was just easier that way.
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Post by Apocrypha on Jan 31, 2022 0:52:58 GMT -5
I felt much more centered sleeping alone and sleeping well, rather than trying to sleep beside someone who seemed to hold me in contempt.
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Post by baza on Jan 31, 2022 4:44:37 GMT -5
Have you got any sort of plan for when she challenges you on this sleeping apart situation ?
If you have a plan for this eventuality, good. It could be the start of bringing this to resolution.
If you haven't got a plan for when she challenges you and you cave in, then essentially you'll have put yourself backwards by a ways.
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onempty
Junior Member
I'm almost free...
Posts: 60
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by onempty on Jan 31, 2022 6:31:12 GMT -5
Have you got any sort of plan for when she challenges you on this sleeping apart situation ? If you have a plan for this eventuality, good. It could be the start of bringing this to resolution. If you haven't got a plan for when she challenges you and you cave in, then essentially you'll have put yourself backwards by a ways. I’ll be moving back in the bedroom tonight. I don’t plan on leaving the marriage and I can’t have a large inflatable mattress in the middle of the living room. It was a small argument not related to sex but our small arguments tend to linger for quite awhile. It’s always been a problem in our marriage. |
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Post by Apocrypha on Jan 31, 2022 11:59:24 GMT -5
Have you got any sort of plan for when she challenges you on this sleeping apart situation ? If you have a plan for this eventuality, good. It could be the start of bringing this to resolution. If you haven't got a plan for when she challenges you and you cave in, then essentially you'll have put yourself backwards by a ways. I’ll be moving back in the bedroom tonight. I don’t plan on leaving the marriage and I can’t have a large inflatable mattress in the middle of the living room. It was a small argument not related to sex but our small arguments tend to linger for quite awhile. It’s always been a problem in our marriage. When things shifted at my house, I ended up converting the futon in the basement to more of a "room"/ office, to make it comfortable to sleep there. Not everyone lives in a house with a basement, so that's not an option for everyone, but in this case, some planning and modest investment made the "guest room" more comfortable to use on an ongoing basis. |
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Post by ironhamster on Jan 31, 2022 14:53:46 GMT -5
Lol. My sanctuary wasn't anything more than a foam rubber pad and some blankets on my workbench in my shop in the garage. That was home for me for about five years.
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Post by jim44444 on Feb 1, 2022 11:35:21 GMT -5
Lol. My sanctuary wasn't anything more than a foam rubber pad and some blankets on my workbench in my shop in the garage. That was home for me for about five years. I do not think I have ever heard of that use of a workbench. 🤣🤣🤣 I can see an advantage to the workbench/bed arrangement. That would force me to put away the tools and clean area each day. Hmmm, I need to ruminate upon this. |
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Post by Handy on Feb 2, 2022 1:29:47 GMT -5
Ironmaster
My sanctuary wasn't anything more than a foam rubber pad and some blankets on my workbench in my shop in the garage. That was home for me for about five years.
That sounds like a cold place to sleep. I hope you had a heated garage AND an electric blanket.
I do not know any woman that would go along with you sleeping in the garage.
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Post by ironhamster on Feb 2, 2022 22:09:57 GMT -5
Ironmaster
My sanctuary wasn't anything more than a foam rubber pad and some blankets on my workbench in my shop in the garage. That was home for me for about five years. That sounds like a cold place to sleep. I hope you had a heated garage AND an electric blanket. I do not know any woman that would go along with you sleeping in the garage. I put in good insulation, and the heat was a 750 watt space heater. It was all I needed even in the most frigid Midwestern nights. And, no, most women wouldn't want to sleep in a room made for tools and machinery, but, one could put in a sewing room or art studio just as easily. Interesting trivia. My wife had the run of the whole house, the master bedroom to herself, along with a walk-in closet so full you couldn't walk in it without moving boxes, and at at least one point expressed frustration that I had a place in the garage and she didn't. |
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Post by Handy on Feb 3, 2022 1:47:13 GMT -5
A 750 watt heater sounds like it wouldn't heat much of an area, even with good insulation. I fix things (laser printer business) at home in the lower level but my W didn't always like that. She filled up one bedroom with exercise equipment she rarely used and had maybe 100 pair of shoes in two bedrooms. courtesy of TV shopping channels, mostly QVC. She complained that the house should have been bigger when it was built. OTH, I had my inventory in the garage and my tools in the garage but no room for a car. My comment about most women wouldn't allow or make YOU sleep in the garage to indicate that she was very uncaring. To me a woman that didn't like you very much would insist that at least sleep in the living room or on a couch INSIDE the house.
I am aware that leaving that type of R and living on your own is such a relief.
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Post by mirrororchid on Feb 3, 2022 4:33:27 GMT -5
... My wife had the run of the whole house, the master bedroom to herself, along with a walk-in closet so full you couldn't walk in it without moving boxes, and at at least one point expressed frustration that I had a place in the garage and she didn't. I fantasize about a tiny house in our back yard that I can retreat to in order to escape the cluttered apocalypse that is a result of my wife's depression fueled shopping therapy. Have friends drop by any time I feel like it. The house hasn't been actually clean for twenty years. She explains she has nowhere to go with everything. But the penny never drops. |
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Post by ironhamster on Feb 3, 2022 4:54:34 GMT -5
I fantasize about a tiny house in our back yard that I can retreat to in order to escape the cluttered apocalypse that is a result of my wife's depression fueled shopping therapy. Have friends drop by any time I feel like it. The house hasn't been actually clean for twenty years. She explains she has nowhere to go with everything. But the penny never drops. If you plan to stay, I think you should jump on that idea. Our house was never really organized either. At times, there would be a "flight of the bumblebees" move to unclutter by filling bins with crap then storing them in the garage. That's as clean as things got. I remember our first place, an 850 square ft condo. I was struggling to keep things orderly, then at some point I caught a nasty bout of the flu. When I recovered, my OCD was gone and never returned, and neither did any order. |
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Post by dallasgia on Feb 11, 2022 18:31:19 GMT -5
I moved to another room some years back and was sleeping my best dreams. Spouse demanded I return to the bedroom as I was upsetting the children. If there is no snuggling, fun, sex - there is zero reason to share a bed with someone.
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Post by jim44444 on Feb 11, 2022 18:50:08 GMT -5
I moved to another room some years back and was sleeping my best dreams. Spouse demanded I return to the bedroom as I was upsetting the children. If there is no snuggling, fun, sex - there is zero reason to share a bed with someone. I doubt the children were upset by your sleeping arrangements. I do believe your H was upset, a blow to his ego. How could you ever resist his animal magnetism? (snark). |
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