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Post by jim44444 on Mar 9, 2022 10:33:33 GMT -5
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Post by steve1968 on Mar 9, 2022 17:09:37 GMT -5
Interesting, but I think it's a bit narrow in focus. There are many reasons to stay and a world of differences in relationships. Personally, I do not feel abused or unloved. She just no longer cares to express her love physically.
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Post by baza on Mar 9, 2022 21:15:06 GMT -5
It isn't a bad post you've found there Brother jim44444 , though a few of the author - "SpanishRed" - other posts it appears she's been on some sort of creative writing course. Her basic point in this post appears to be is that it is bloody difficult to see you are in a dysfunctional and/or abusive relationship whilst you are in it. You see it in here all the time in posts that go - "Everything is great bar the sex" ...... and then, as more detail comes forward, a very different picture emerges. Personally, back in the day, I came into this group espousing the same thing, that "everything was great bar the sex". But the facts on the ground did not support this statement. There were about 5 aspects of my ILIASM deal that were problems. Taken just by themselves as single issues, they were not deal breakers. But when I stood back and looked objectively at the full picture "everything was not so great, and there wasn't even any sex". That realisation hit me hard. Like this SpanishRed says in her post - "Your abuser becomes your sole source of love. They might hate you most of the time, but they’re the only person left to provide the thin shred of care you depend on, and you feel grateful for it". |
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Post by jim44444 on Mar 9, 2022 21:57:26 GMT -5
It isn't a bad post you've found there Brother jim44444 , though a few of the author - "SpanishRed" - other posts it appears she's been on some sort of creative writing course. She is a professional writer. But I think she makes a good case for the idea that people stay in an abusive relationship because they cannot see an alternative. She makes that point from a position of personal experience. We have read many posts where someone says "I would leave but ... ". The excuses/reasons are smoke screens that blind them to a different reality. |
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