Post by terriblylonely on Apr 10, 2022 21:45:04 GMT -5
Hi! I’m new here and thought I would share. I never thought I would have a marriage like this. For me, my sexless marriage happened immediately after we got married. We dated for a year and had a very active sex life. At the time I was 26 and my husband was 46. Both my husband and myself I believe people would say we are attractive. We were definitely a power couple in the state we live in and most everyone we know would be shocked that I am going through this. Right after our marriage, including our honeymoon, he barely touched me. I was very confused but thought maybe he was tired or didn’t feel good. When we got home after our honeymoon everything seemed normal for the first week but after that, nothing from my husband. We discussed having children after getting married but it’s a little hard to do that when your husband starts avoiding you. Thank God I didn’t have difficulty getting pregnant. Once I got pregnant, my husband didn’t touch me during my whole pregnancy. In fact the night I told him I was pregnant we were having sex and in the middle of it, he just stopped and told me I felt “funny”. As you can imagine the pain I felt and rejection was horrible. I was so self-conscious during my pregnancy that I did everything I could do so he would not see me naked even though I only gained 30lbs during my pregnancy.
After our daughter was born we only had sex a few time and it was me who initiated it. Two years later I was wanting another child so, again I initiated and luckily got pregnant again. After that, my husband never touched me again. I have gone to him so many times and it’s always they same, I’m too tired, I’ll do better, etc. This year we will be married 24 years and I am so lonely. We have a twenty year age difference. His testosterone levels are just fine, great physical health, no issues with ED. About 10 years ago he stepped out of our marriage. He took this women out on a few dates and I found out about it. He claims he didn’t sleep with her but it really didn’t matter to me. In my eyes he did because at the end of the day he wasn’t sleeping with me. He talked about our marriage to this women and told her we weren’t having sex. I remembered laughing at him, saying you’re the one with the “not having sex with your spouses” it was never me. In the 24 years of our marriage I have never turned down sex to my husband on the rare occasion he would ask. It was normally me asking him and begging. Do you have any idea what it’s like for a women to beg a man to sleep with her. In my past relationships I never had a problem with sex and never thought in a million years this would be the type of marriage I would have. I have brought it up to my husband so many times that I don’t even mention it anymore. I remember telling him that one of these days, I won’t be crying, I won’t come to you, wanting you. Those days are here. I used to be so in love with my husband. Now, I have lost all respect for him as a husband and a man. We don’t really touch except for a daily hug or a peck on the lips. I can’t remember when I had a real kiss. Aside from the no sex we actually have a good relationship. We get along very well, we laugh, go out, have date night etc. However, my needs haven’t been met at all in our marriage and I feel at times I want to just be with someone. To feel the weight of a man on top of me, his hands on me. The loneliness is deafening at times, sometimes it’s all I think about. I’ve even thought about stepping outside my marriage with someone who isn’t married (I don’t want to be the cause of ruining someones marriage) Even when I type these words, “stepping outside” of my marriage pains me because that is not who I am but I feel like my husband has pushed me into that direction and I resent him for it. I’m 50, our kids are grown and I’m in the last chapter in my life. The thought of not having sex is not ok with me. I have put everyone’s needs before mine and now I want my needs met, even if that means looking outside my marriage. Withholding sex from your spouse basically during our whole marriage is one of the cruelest things you could do to a person. Needless to say, this rejection has damaged me in so many ways. Sorry for the long post. Thanks for letting me vent.
After our daughter was born we only had sex a few time and it was me who initiated it. Two years later I was wanting another child so, again I initiated and luckily got pregnant again. After that, my husband never touched me again. I have gone to him so many times and it’s always they same, I’m too tired, I’ll do better, etc. This year we will be married 24 years and I am so lonely. We have a twenty year age difference. His testosterone levels are just fine, great physical health, no issues with ED. About 10 years ago he stepped out of our marriage. He took this women out on a few dates and I found out about it. He claims he didn’t sleep with her but it really didn’t matter to me. In my eyes he did because at the end of the day he wasn’t sleeping with me. He talked about our marriage to this women and told her we weren’t having sex. I remembered laughing at him, saying you’re the one with the “not having sex with your spouses” it was never me. In the 24 years of our marriage I have never turned down sex to my husband on the rare occasion he would ask. It was normally me asking him and begging. Do you have any idea what it’s like for a women to beg a man to sleep with her. In my past relationships I never had a problem with sex and never thought in a million years this would be the type of marriage I would have. I have brought it up to my husband so many times that I don’t even mention it anymore. I remember telling him that one of these days, I won’t be crying, I won’t come to you, wanting you. Those days are here. I used to be so in love with my husband. Now, I have lost all respect for him as a husband and a man. We don’t really touch except for a daily hug or a peck on the lips. I can’t remember when I had a real kiss. Aside from the no sex we actually have a good relationship. We get along very well, we laugh, go out, have date night etc. However, my needs haven’t been met at all in our marriage and I feel at times I want to just be with someone. To feel the weight of a man on top of me, his hands on me. The loneliness is deafening at times, sometimes it’s all I think about. I’ve even thought about stepping outside my marriage with someone who isn’t married (I don’t want to be the cause of ruining someones marriage) Even when I type these words, “stepping outside” of my marriage pains me because that is not who I am but I feel like my husband has pushed me into that direction and I resent him for it. I’m 50, our kids are grown and I’m in the last chapter in my life. The thought of not having sex is not ok with me. I have put everyone’s needs before mine and now I want my needs met, even if that means looking outside my marriage. Withholding sex from your spouse basically during our whole marriage is one of the cruelest things you could do to a person. Needless to say, this rejection has damaged me in so many ways. Sorry for the long post. Thanks for letting me vent.