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Post by blunder8 on Mar 27, 2023 10:52:35 GMT -5
I've been watching a lot of college hoops lately. Bad analogy, but I couldn't help but think that basketball coaches at the top levels, making over 2 million per year, get sent packing if they have two or three bad seasons.
Yet, somehow refuser spouses get to keep their deal even after decades of non-performance. (unless of course the refused chooses to "take the program in a different direction.")
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Post by mirrororchid on Mar 28, 2023 5:33:51 GMT -5
I've been watching a lot of college hoops lately. Bad analogy, but I couldn't help but think that basketball coaches at the top levels, making over 2 million per year, get sent packing if they have two or three bad seasons. Yet, somehow refuser spouses get to keep their deal even after decades of non-performance. (unless of course the refused chooses to "take the program in a different direction.") I have had similar musings. There's a rule of thumb that if nothing intimate is happening within three dates, "rookies" don't get picked up for the team. If an established player doesn't score in three games, is it surprising the coach starts thinking about trading him/her given this standard for prospects? Maybe he starts "scouting" if he's out of town on a business trip?
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Post by blunder8 on Mar 28, 2023 7:29:59 GMT -5
I've been watching a lot of college hoops lately. Bad analogy, but I couldn't help but think that basketball coaches at the top levels, making over 2 million per year, get sent packing if they have two or three bad seasons. Yet, somehow refuser spouses get to keep their deal even after decades of non-performance. (unless of course the refused chooses to "take the program in a different direction.") I have had similar musings. There's a rule of thumb that if nothing intimate is happening within three dates, "rookies" don't get picked up for the team. If an established player doesn't score in three games, is it surprising the coach starts thinking about trading him/her given this standard for prospects? Maybe he starts "scouting" if he's out of town on a business trip? ++++++++++++++++++ I think I speak for all refused spouses when I say we don't want to be on the sidelines. We just want to get in the game. Sports analogies: fertile ground.
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Post by mirrororchid on Mar 29, 2023 5:35:18 GMT -5
Refused spouses aren't good enough to play, but they don't get traded either. The coaches are afraid they'll do well on another team and they don't want to see that happen. So, the refuser sits, waiting, waiting for the contract to run out; dreaming of being a free agent. Wearing a new uniform. A fresh start, new teammates, a whole new environment. A different home stadium to play in. Maybe picking up some fresh moves from teammates to surprise others with. 'I like how that guy moves down court without double dribbling.'
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Post by h on Apr 1, 2023 3:15:18 GMT -5
Thanks. I hear ya. The frequency truly is relative to the relationship/situation and varies greatly. Previously four months droughts were common, and unbearable. Then interrupted by duty sex. I can't imagine living in your circumstances. At least you've made the logical move to roommate to avoid the awful anxiety of futile hope. Hell, I didn't even have a chance to screw up, our problems started on the honeymoon! I mean literally from the first couple of days it was clear there were problems! A smarter man would have had the marriage annulled after returning from the honeymoon. It is a bit embarrassing to admit how incredibly ignorant I was. I should have trusted my gut instinct. Same boat here. I was an idiot for not getting an annulment. Rejected on the wedding night and avoided on the honeymoon except for one encounter in the whole 10 day long romantic Hawaiian getaway because she "felt guilty for depriving me and felt sorry for me." (Actual wording she used)
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