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Post by lessingham on Feb 9, 2023 5:17:54 GMT -5
Trying to gear up my enthuiasm for the lurveeeee day. So far bought a card and am checking out the supermarket meal deal. Beyond that I cannot be bothered. Part of me wants to get a gothique victorian gentlemen's outfit and saunter around in my own private fantasy.(alas the days when you could seduce the maids have long since gone) Lessingham Manor will echo to sighs of might have beens.
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Post by worksforme2 on Feb 13, 2023 10:21:40 GMT -5
Candy kisses and boxes of chocolate time is almost here. How about a view of Valentine's Day from an ILIASM viewpoint? Attachments:
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Post by lessingham on Feb 15, 2023 17:34:54 GMT -5
Astonishingly, got laid Valentines day. Had a romantic dinner at home, watched a chick flick and off to bed.
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Post by jim44444 on Feb 17, 2023 20:14:55 GMT -5
For the first time ever I ignored Valentine's Day.
Same results except I saved money.
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Post by lessingham on Feb 19, 2023 5:54:50 GMT -5
If it were abolished, I would not weep. I read somewhere that Valentine's Day is only for singles. Married and other couples should transfer all that into their anniversary date instead.
But there is too much materialism and profit baked into Feb 14th to change it
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Post by northstarmom on Feb 19, 2023 12:16:13 GMT -5
lessingham was your Valentines Day sex the usual starfish sex from your wife?
FWIW, the only thing that made my V Day miserable this year with my partner of 10 years was because I was achy, tired, and feverish from some bug. Otherwise, we've always had great V Days that included sex, love, romance. I don't get excited about cards and material gifts. I do get excited about going some place special for V day and having a romantic evening, and that's usually easily doable for us.
By comparison, in the last years of my SM, I stopped celebrating V day with my spouse because I knew we'd only be going through the motions. There'd be no sex and no real romance. I'd just be resentful and feel empty. It would just highlight what was missing in our relationship.
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Post by heelots on Feb 19, 2023 19:16:39 GMT -5
If it were abolished, I would not weep. I read somewhere that Valentine's Day is only for singles. Married and other couples should transfer all that into their anniversary date instead. But there is too much materialism and profit baked into Feb 14th to change it I have never liked valentine's day. To me it is a tacky holiday dreamed up by card companies,candy companies and florists. I don't recall ever getting laid on V day. If I had my way it would go away. These days I am equally interested in celebrating our anniversary, that too could go away without being missed! |
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Post by lessingham on Feb 21, 2023 5:45:47 GMT -5
She did try, wore lingerie and I gave her multiple orgasms, as usual. But it was a notch up from starfish.
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Post by lessingham on Feb 21, 2023 5:46:19 GMT -5
And that is twice in 2023! Once a month guys, cor.
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Post by mirrororchid on Feb 21, 2023 6:55:47 GMT -5
And that is twice in 2023! Once a month guys, cor. When Mrs. Mirrororchid broke our SM over her knee, I didn't know it was going to last. I bought her flowers after we'd couple (usually a few days after, when it was convenient.) Never found out if she made the connection. It might have helped our remission last this long? I figured if the flowers stopped, I wondered if that would click with her. (Maybe it did and she stayed mum? We communicate without words? Yeah, I won't give myself that kind of credit.) While she said nothing about flowers, she did remark about my extra cuddly nature the day or two post-coupling and I answered, "What do you want from me? I feel a bit gushy when we've made love. I'm male. We're built like this." That may have helped the remission too. She liked spontaneous cuddles in the kitchen? Wanna try the flowers? The ol' girl may "deserve" it for this relatively ravenous, lusty surge in the boudoir. It's all so transactional-sounding, but maybe that's what works after years of SM. Marriage-by-the-numbers. Go through the motions and in sporadic moments, you actually feel love, rather than just do love. Another thing I'd started doing was more emphatic kisses to say goodbye in the morning, a time when its absurd to think you were trying for sex. Reinforce teh sexual nature of the relationship without actually requiring sex. Not sure what reaction that might have, but if it's going to help, now might be the time. Don't know how it will be received. As a chaser, is there some item of choreplay that's been on the to do list a very long time? Choreplay to get some doesn't work. Choreplay after nookie is gratitude, which I have associated with cherishing your spouse. Mrs. Lessingham fixed the sex first, maybe the rest can get some patching and polish. |
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Post by northstarmom on Feb 21, 2023 9:11:05 GMT -5
mirrorchid: "I figured if the flowers stopped, I wondered if that would click with her. (Maybe it did and she stayed mum? We communicate without words? Yeah, I won't give myself that kind of credit.)
While she said nothing about flowers, she did remark about my extra cuddly nature the day or two post-coupling and I answered, "What do you want from me? I feel a bit gushy when we've made love. I'm male. We're built like this."
That may have helped the remission too. She liked spontaneous cuddles in the kitchen?"
Seems that direct communication helped make the connection between your having sex and your giving her flowers or being cuddly. (I'm not suggesting that it will help everyone here, but it did seem to help your marriage).
BTW, not just (some) men are "built like this." So are many women. So it's important to use "I terms." Make it personal.
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Post by lessingham on May 18, 2023 11:21:24 GMT -5
And nothing since February. Nada.
She was ill over May but recovered enough to go to Portugal with the girls. Weirdly one dropped out and I was offered a place. Too tired on the vacation. Too tired since getting back. Me, I am sick and tired abd hating myself more for being stuck here unable to poop or get off the pot as crude folk say.
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