Post by mirrororchid on Mar 15, 2023 4:26:32 GMT -5
Having a rough time remembering what everyone's deal is?
Me too.
Every so often I'm about to ask a question that I suspect has already been answered. This would be the place to keep and find details.
If you see your name, I won't mind filling is a blank. "Mood, for example. I'm not putting words in mouths there)
If you don't mind someone else updating your record, say so and folks can comment and rat you out.
Any deets you'd like removed? Done! Location will start very generally, to avoid "outing" anyone
Thanks to everyone who's provided background!
UPDATE (11/9/23):
Alphabetized, bay-bee!!!!
Me too.
Every so often I'm about to ask a question that I suspect has already been answered. This would be the place to keep and find details.
If you see your name, I won't mind filling is a blank. "Mood, for example. I'm not putting words in mouths there)
If you don't mind someone else updating your record, say so and folks can comment and rat you out.
Any deets you'd like removed? Done! Location will start very generally, to avoid "outing" anyone
| Member | Marital Status | SM Status | Disposition/Mood | Summary | Location (volunteered) | |||||
| angeleyes65 | Partnered | Escaped | "I escaped my marriage in 2017, 34 years married, 12 years totally sexless. Now I'm in a live in relationship with a man who is also out of a sexless marriage." | US, St. Louis | ||||||
| angelwanderer | Australia | |||||||||
| Apocrypha | Escaped | |||||||||
| aquacat | Married | Sexless | Lonely | Married 22 years. Sex has been off and on for the entirety of our marriage... does it because it's something I need... once every few weeks...longest drought was a year and a half. | Mid-Atlantic area, USA | |||||
| ballofconfusion | Engaged | Escaped | Engaged to Shamwow (11/2023) | |||||||
| blunder8 | Married | Sexless | Reset 01/2023-7/2023, SM relapsed | |||||||
| catlover | Married | Sexless | "...Wife is very ill, but devoid of any physical affection. When called on it she denies it...accused of "always being controlling", and "everything has to be YOUR way".... | Canada, Hagersville, Ontario | ||||||
| choosinghappy (formerly lonelywifey) | Partnered | Escaped | In a long distance, long term relationship with tirefire . | |||||||
| dallasgia | Married | Sexless | Desperate | Married 26 yrs - but fighting to escape Completely sexless 4 yrs Basically sexless for over a decade. | USA, Texas | |||||
| deadzone75 | ||||||||||
| greatcoastal | On the hunt | Escaped | ||||||||
| GreatContender aka Daddeo | ||||||||||
| h | Married | Sexless | Hopeful | Still married for at least (but probably not much more than) another year. Married almost 15 years. Clinically sexless since day one. Current disposition is "hopeful" considering that I see a light at the end of the tunnel where before there was no light. | USA, Upstate New York | |||||
| Handy | n/a | Departed | R.I.P. | Married until death did he part. | ||||||
| heelots | Married | Sexless | "... mentally began thinking of my wife as a roommate and nothing more ...Sleeping separately ...won't cheat on her nor leave ..." | |||||||
| holdfast | Married | Sexless | iliasm.org/post/145126/thread: Married 33 years, 8 sexless. | |||||||
| ironhamster | ||||||||||
| jerri | Married | Outsourcing | ||||||||
| justadude (shynjdude) | Married | Consensually Celibate | iliasm.org/thread/4622/screwed-talk (thread by "deleted" but it's him.) Recent: iliasm.org/post/147973/thread | |||||||
| lanie | Married | In Remission | In remission - 01/2022 - iliasm.org/thread/5986/staying | |||||||
| lonelyhubby | Married | Sexless | Worn down, losing hope | "Wife is on Prozac for migraine (not depression) - for 15 years (coincidence, I think not). Also heavy in pre-menopause for 6-7 years (I theorize that the Prozac declined our frequency and the perimenopause coupled with the Prozac and general burn out killed her sex drive and all sexual connection within herself (we have discussed at length). Although we have discussed in depth about the issues and lack of libido and zero intimate touching, kissing, etc.. She promises to try and do better, will not consider HRT or bioidentical HRT because she is already on too many meds and has daily medicine fatigue (cholesterol, prediabetes with the perimenopause weight gain, SSRI's for migraine abatement, etc." | Central Indiana, USA | |||||
| m76 | Married | Sexless | Lonely | "At this point I know my marriage is done. We just live together." - Married 24 years, haven't had sex in 6 years. Wife came out as asexual. Technically sexless for 15 years. Investigating separation. | Ontario, Canada | |||||
| miestas | Married | Sexless | Married 32 years. Basically sexless for 16 years. Wife has sex every few months to make me happy, but doesn’t enjoy it. Wife and I have had each other’s backs through very tough times, and we are best friends so I would have a lot of guilt if I left because of FOMO. And yet I flip flop | USA, Alabama | ||||||
| mirrororchid | Married | In Remission | Content | Married 27 years, 2015(?)-2019 sexless, followed by current 4 year reset. In Remission as of 12/2019 iliasm.org/thread/5582/mirrororchid-update | USA, Washington DC | |||||
| misssunnybunny | Engaged | Escaped | Happy😁 | "Escaped 10 years ago from marriage that was sexless for 16 years. Currently in a relationship." | US, Boston | |||||
| muzack | Married | Sexless | Reasonably Happy | "Married 22 years. sexless for most. Wife is working on her anxiety, body image, and control issues that are the primary cause of the senselessness. | Central Virginia, USA | |||||
| njsojourner | ||||||||||
| northstarmom | Partnered | Escaped | "Escaped after being married 34 years, the last 8 of which were completely sexless. Now have been 10 years with a wonderful partner who loves sex and loves me the way I want to be loved. I didn't find the precursor to ILIASM until a week after my divorce." | Mexico (American ex-pat) | ||||||
| padgemi | On the Hunt | Escaped | ||||||||
| petrushka | Married | Sexless | "...Married 23 years, 20 of them sexless. The relationship is very affectionately platonic. Not going to repeat the entirely history. 14 years ago I called her on the passive aggressive hell my life had become, and she mended her ways. Definitely did. When your significant other comes in the door after a day away and their face lights up when they see you, it's clear that there is some "I want you" involved"... | Whangarei, New Zealand. | ||||||
| Same old, same old | Married | Sexless | "...unhappy but choosing to stay. Have one amazing daughter and two wonderful grandchildren." | |||||||
| shamwow | Engaged | Escaped | Engaged to BallOfConfusion (11/2023) | |||||||
| shynjdude (see "justadude") | ||||||||||
| sweetplumeria | Married | Outsourcing | Married 30 years...sexless pretty early on but I just didn't recognize the red flags ... I began Outsourcing in 2010... I was still raising kids. My youngest child will finish college approximately September of 2024. ...husband is 78 and so everyone in my life thinks I should wait it out... seen two different lawyers over the years as Baza suggests...During my Outsourcing Adventures I have received at least three marriage proposals and it kind of makes me laugh because I just really don't know what to think about a man who proposes to a woman who's already married. ... I don't have a career to fall back on and the risk is high. iliasm.org/post/147966/thread | USA, West Coast | ||||||
| tamara68 | Partnered | Escaped | "I am Dutch, living in Belgium. In 2016 escaped a nearly 30-year marriage- Half that time without sex. Ex lives with my daughter who is brainwashed by him to not have contact with me. I live together with my new partner." | Belgium | ||||||
| warmways | Dating | Escaped | Happy | Married 18 years, all sexless. Escaped in 2019. Began dating in 2021 after having to recover | Maine, US | |||||
| week5of35years | Married | In Remission | Skeptical | married & been together for 34 yrs SM Status - In Remission/but Sceptical Disposition/Mood Summary - finding it hard to recover what has been stolen and sceptical that it won't all just blow up (or wind down Ha ha) and end.... | ||||||
| worksforme2 | On the hunt | Escaped | Escaped about 7-8 yrs ago Married for 5yrs. Sexless -3yrs. Sort of in between partners at the moment |
Thanks to everyone who's provided background!
UPDATE (11/9/23):
Alphabetized, bay-bee!!!!
