Post by mirrororchid on Mar 30, 2023 6:13:30 GMT -5
I tested the promo code and it is still active.
You can try Dad Starting Over for one dollar for a month. Use promo code "Facebook" when you sign up.
If you use PayPal, you can "Manage Subscriptions" and cancel the auto-pay to avoid the next month's payment if you decide it's not worth the money. I can see how it would be worth it, especially to build a support system for an upcoming divorce (intentional or thrust upon you).
The DSO web site also has an accounts page where you can cancel, but I did both.
I'll post again if I get charged, but I strongly expect Paypal will not allow it.
DSO asks that you cancel a week in advance, for some reason, so I did, out of courtesy, and to DSO's credit, when I canceled, my subscription stayed active and appears to be good through the same April 2nd I was promised. I was not cut off.
Replies in the forums died down though. Do shills stay engaged to keep the dough rolling? Meh. It was earnest feedback. That's all I was looking for anyway. Just have one eye open for aggressive engagement used to keep monthly fees in. Stay for your own sake, if it provides value. I feel it did, but I went in offering help, not needing it. All the folks needing help got chased to Facebook so I didn't get to see whether my quarry awaited there. My drive to help others stops at handing Zuck my passport and paypuhs.
Dad Starting Over isn't for me because their forums are on Facebook and you'll need a Facebook account to get a lot of the benefit from it.
The Facebook forums are private, you'll need membership to see anything.
In theory no one will know you're a member.
In practice, Facebook has been slipshod with personal information twice. If you want to stay anonymous, it may not be a good idea.
If you're on Facebook and you think the risk of people knowing you are IASM is small, you wont' have the obstacles I did. You'll get more out of it, probably a lot more.
The Facebook forum is likely where you'll be able to get lots more detail on what guys do to reconstruct their lives, either after divorce, or trying to fix their marriages.
Here at ILIASM, we also entertain the possibility of outsourcing. That is rather unpopular over at DSO. Rather judgey tone of "Hey, if you can live with yourself..."
Even though I didn't outsource and my wife reset, they're convinced my marriage is in enormous trouble. As if threatening divorce doesn't put you on teh brink identically.
Maybe it is worse, but there are only four (maybe fewer) ILIASM members who have actually, credibly said they were going to outsource and all four stayed married and are now getting some.
That's a small sample size, but 100% success is kind of stupid to dismiss, so you have some real closed-minded guys there. We're men. It's kind of our thing, I get it.
Both ILIASM and DSO, I theorize, get a more conservative, traditionally minded audience because those who do not have a stronger commitment to the institute of marriage may not avoid divorce as strongly as we do, or they'll just get a side piece and not lament teh need as much as we do, trying to avoid it if we can. The portion of society that casually breaks vows won't show up here, or at DSO.
The reason I was able to share the outsourcing option to DSO members was that the web site has its own forums, but no one uses them. They all go to Facebook.
If someone does post in their native system, they tell teh newbie "We have lots more over on Facebook!" and Poof! They're gone, so...I saw nearly nothing.
If someone else tries it for a month, leave a review here, okay?
The key benefit to my membership was access to DSO's four audiobooks.
One was for teenage boys trying to figure out adult relationships. Didn't listen, but if you have such a lad, maybe you can benefit.
"Red Flags" is supposed to be advice on what to avoid when dating, but I found it interesting to pick out the red flags my wife had and my old girlfriends. DSO shares the pitfalls of such red flags and what you can expect. It got me thinking now and then. If the DSO crowd is right and my monogamous marriage is doomed, I may revisit it.
"The Dead Bedroom Fix" is a fast paced post-mortem of how you may have caused your dead bedroom and ways to fix it. Chapter 7 is the end where he says, being a terrific guy may not be enough and threatening divorce may be the only thing left. I invoked Chapter 7 a lot in my forum posts and pointed out how little difference outsourcing and divorce have. (you're not monogamous with your spouse after divorce, there can be hostility, there's lots to explain to the kids [if you're not Don't Ask, Don't Tell])
Forum replies seemed to think there was a yawning chasm between the two. Societal indoctrination is a bitch.
The last book, "Now What?" is about reconstructing your life after divorce and avoiding falling into an identical troubled relationship. This was likely very useful for many members. It had a few tips should my own marriage falter again. This might be teh best one.
All four books have written versions, of course, but access to the audio in my car was great for getting through them in the month I had. They aren't all that long.
There are also recorded Zoom sessions.
They tend to be lectures by the "Coaches" partnered with DSO.
Not my thing, but chacun à son goût.
Three Zoom meetings I attended were similarly themed and teh fellas that showed up to listen stayed quiet. Again, lectures by the hosts. I was pumped about brainstorming ideas with a bunch of guys trying to solve problems. Not the three I attended, alas.
Other zoom sessions might be more open, but they are mostly scheduled during the 9-5 work day. Not helpful for me.
All in all, I'm glad I tried it and can recommend giving it a go for any fella who'd like to run ideas past a second crowd of people. They have opportunities to meet in person that ILIASM doesn't have (yet). I think we had one get together in Tennessee? (Anyone up for Baltimore, someday?)
You can try Dad Starting Over for one dollar for a month. Use promo code "Facebook" when you sign up.
If you use PayPal, you can "Manage Subscriptions" and cancel the auto-pay to avoid the next month's payment if you decide it's not worth the money. I can see how it would be worth it, especially to build a support system for an upcoming divorce (intentional or thrust upon you).
The DSO web site also has an accounts page where you can cancel, but I did both.
I'll post again if I get charged, but I strongly expect Paypal will not allow it.
DSO asks that you cancel a week in advance, for some reason, so I did, out of courtesy, and to DSO's credit, when I canceled, my subscription stayed active and appears to be good through the same April 2nd I was promised. I was not cut off.
Replies in the forums died down though. Do shills stay engaged to keep the dough rolling? Meh. It was earnest feedback. That's all I was looking for anyway. Just have one eye open for aggressive engagement used to keep monthly fees in. Stay for your own sake, if it provides value. I feel it did, but I went in offering help, not needing it. All the folks needing help got chased to Facebook so I didn't get to see whether my quarry awaited there. My drive to help others stops at handing Zuck my passport and paypuhs.
Dad Starting Over isn't for me because their forums are on Facebook and you'll need a Facebook account to get a lot of the benefit from it.
The Facebook forums are private, you'll need membership to see anything.
In theory no one will know you're a member.
In practice, Facebook has been slipshod with personal information twice. If you want to stay anonymous, it may not be a good idea.
If you're on Facebook and you think the risk of people knowing you are IASM is small, you wont' have the obstacles I did. You'll get more out of it, probably a lot more.
The Facebook forum is likely where you'll be able to get lots more detail on what guys do to reconstruct their lives, either after divorce, or trying to fix their marriages.
Here at ILIASM, we also entertain the possibility of outsourcing. That is rather unpopular over at DSO. Rather judgey tone of "Hey, if you can live with yourself..."
Even though I didn't outsource and my wife reset, they're convinced my marriage is in enormous trouble. As if threatening divorce doesn't put you on teh brink identically.
Maybe it is worse, but there are only four (maybe fewer) ILIASM members who have actually, credibly said they were going to outsource and all four stayed married and are now getting some.
That's a small sample size, but 100% success is kind of stupid to dismiss, so you have some real closed-minded guys there. We're men. It's kind of our thing, I get it.
Both ILIASM and DSO, I theorize, get a more conservative, traditionally minded audience because those who do not have a stronger commitment to the institute of marriage may not avoid divorce as strongly as we do, or they'll just get a side piece and not lament teh need as much as we do, trying to avoid it if we can. The portion of society that casually breaks vows won't show up here, or at DSO.
The reason I was able to share the outsourcing option to DSO members was that the web site has its own forums, but no one uses them. They all go to Facebook.
If someone does post in their native system, they tell teh newbie "We have lots more over on Facebook!" and Poof! They're gone, so...I saw nearly nothing.
If someone else tries it for a month, leave a review here, okay?
The key benefit to my membership was access to DSO's four audiobooks.
One was for teenage boys trying to figure out adult relationships. Didn't listen, but if you have such a lad, maybe you can benefit.
"Red Flags" is supposed to be advice on what to avoid when dating, but I found it interesting to pick out the red flags my wife had and my old girlfriends. DSO shares the pitfalls of such red flags and what you can expect. It got me thinking now and then. If the DSO crowd is right and my monogamous marriage is doomed, I may revisit it.
"The Dead Bedroom Fix" is a fast paced post-mortem of how you may have caused your dead bedroom and ways to fix it. Chapter 7 is the end where he says, being a terrific guy may not be enough and threatening divorce may be the only thing left. I invoked Chapter 7 a lot in my forum posts and pointed out how little difference outsourcing and divorce have. (you're not monogamous with your spouse after divorce, there can be hostility, there's lots to explain to the kids [if you're not Don't Ask, Don't Tell])
Forum replies seemed to think there was a yawning chasm between the two. Societal indoctrination is a bitch.
The last book, "Now What?" is about reconstructing your life after divorce and avoiding falling into an identical troubled relationship. This was likely very useful for many members. It had a few tips should my own marriage falter again. This might be teh best one.
All four books have written versions, of course, but access to the audio in my car was great for getting through them in the month I had. They aren't all that long.
There are also recorded Zoom sessions.
They tend to be lectures by the "Coaches" partnered with DSO.
Not my thing, but chacun à son goût.
Three Zoom meetings I attended were similarly themed and teh fellas that showed up to listen stayed quiet. Again, lectures by the hosts. I was pumped about brainstorming ideas with a bunch of guys trying to solve problems. Not the three I attended, alas.
Other zoom sessions might be more open, but they are mostly scheduled during the 9-5 work day. Not helpful for me.
All in all, I'm glad I tried it and can recommend giving it a go for any fella who'd like to run ideas past a second crowd of people. They have opportunities to meet in person that ILIASM doesn't have (yet). I think we had one get together in Tennessee? (Anyone up for Baltimore, someday?)
