My wife is addicted to the Tour de France. Several hours a day for 3 weeks, sat on the sofa glued to the tv. I hate it. I feel discarded and just a servant bringing her meals and drinks. We are going through an uber refusal phrase, no sex, no discussion of sex, no physical affection. She makes me feel as if she is repulsed by my very presence. I am in a dark place. I cannot muster the courage to throw a major strop, walk out or leave. I am stuck. I cannot find the courage to fight for a real sex life with her. I cannot even tell her to get her own fucking coffee in case she misses a millisecond of a five hour race. (Pardon the swearing). I know what I have to do and yet I am too much of a coward to act. Part of me wants to hire a high class hooker to the house and say to her, you enjoy your sport and I'll enjoy what I adore upstairs. Pathetically childish but it will break the log ham one way or t'other. Wonder if she would make coffee midway?
Post by worksforme2 on Jul 17, 2023 6:05:01 GMT -5
Your W is not unique in her persuit of viewing her favorite sport. My X is passonate about (American) football. She has a team jersey she wore when watching it while we were still married. She is still a fan so Sunday afternoon and Monday night are set aside for professional football. I was OK with this because I am also a fan but to a much lesser extent. I didn't have to wait on her but but like your misses, conversation, physical interaction was strictly off the table. In my opinion your stock would quadrouple in value if you mustered the courage to bring in a pro to get some sweet nookie.In all probability your W would go balastic, but it might be worth the fallout to assert your independence from her tryrany.
Post by angeleyes65 on Jul 17, 2023 6:43:38 GMT -5
I stayed way too long because I'm a good person and hurting someone that bad was really hard for me. Also I had never lived alone I'm sure that factored in. I had no issue saying get your own whatever because I was unhappy and filled with resentment. I finally just blurted it out and stuck to it. Refused to discuss it. After I got out the guilt was still there so I went to counseling. I wish I would have done that before I left . The courage was there I just had to give myself permission to use it. If you haven't went to counseling for yourself ... you should. Even if you don't leave.
You are right, I am playing by her rules to get a reward she will never give. But she has now developed a stomach ache, usual sign of when I kick back against her rules.
If you are satisified that she is predisposed to a stomach ache when you kick back against her bullying, time to just ignore it and keep pushing back. Some rules are ment to be broken. The sooner and the more often you kick back against her bad rules the more your sense of pride in your accomplishment of asserting your independence will start to foster a better dynamic in your marriage. Better for you, not necessarily for her.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
worksforme2: Happy Birthday baza......
Nov 22, 2023 4:37:57 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday itsnotmyfault....
Dec 6, 2023 5:44:03 GMT -5
notdeadyet: (I'm never sure of posting protocols here. Forgive me if I don't do it right) This is vwell said. We finally found a therapist who wasn't anti-male biased from the outset. She concluded that my W was OCPD, NOT the same as OCD at all. But it took month
Dec 17, 2023 14:01:27 GMT -5
jim44444: @notdeadyet you might wNtbo.post your updates and story under the sexless marriage folder. The shout box only appears in desktop mode not the mobile version.
Dec 18, 2023 18:24:58 GMT -5
jim44444: ,@notdeadyet *want to
Dec 18, 2023 18:25:44 GMT -5
mirrororchid: Glad to hear from you, NotDeadYet. It's also important to note that your post will scroll out of sight soon (20 lines max) and others cannot benefit from your story and learn from it. No protocol violated, though.
Dec 18, 2023 20:39:05 GMT -5