Post by sweetplumeria on Sept 13, 2023 2:37:38 GMT -5
I found this post in the Reddit dead bedrooms thread. I found it rather thought-provoking and tried to offer my own heartfelt advice to the low libido person who wants to keep their spouse. I don't usually cross reference myself but the article is really too good to ignore and maybe good for the group to contemplate putting their own thoughts in the post. It's not going to be helpful to us but man I think it's nice that this person cares enough to not lose her marriage. Don't we all wish our spouses would have tried this?
Post by worksforme2 on Sept 13, 2023 7:15:50 GMT -5
This individuasl is so totally opposite the typical refuser found here. In their willingness to try and please their partner they show far more love and concern than I expected to find in the read. Most of us who have had a low libido partner have incurred not just resistance to taking proactive measures to address their low libido, but have been met with outright refuasal most of the time. In my own SM I ask my then W to consider HRT to hopefullp restart her very low libido. Her response was that she wasn't interested as she already took enough medication in dealing with her high blood pressure and colesterol issues. Others here have stated their spouses have refused to discus the situation with their doctor, or a therapist or even couple counselling. This person values the marriage far more than most refusing spouses.
Last Edit: Sept 13, 2023 17:08:36 GMT -5 by worksforme2
Post by mirrororchid on Sept 19, 2023 19:13:06 GMT -5
While Mrs. MirrorOrchid and I were still in a SM, it meant the world to me when she agreed that celibacy was a problem.
It gave me hope and patience when she visited her gynocologist to see what might help.
Then she came home with the answer of estrogen cream. She feared teh cancer risk and didn't ask about any other help that might be out there. (Depression can destroy motivation to do even important things, so not all of it was indifference.)
When we were sexless, the author's kind of cooperation and recognition of the importance was gold. It eased the hurt feelings a lot. I guess the sexlessness isn't as bad a problem as the rejection. Not trying is pre-rejection. You don't even get to the rejection part. That's an especially lovely kick in the groin.
The comments section is riddled with the author's gratitude for being so well received and the well wishes. It's so easy to like a refuser who'd like to stop refusing.