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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2016 10:01:37 GMT -5
Thank you Z and Petrushka! I am not even sure where to start with my story. I've been reading a few of the posts and find myself shaking my head in agreement. I hate being in a SM, but not sure if I can leave anytime soon. He has moved me away from our hometown near Chicago to NY for his job/promotion. I had to give up my amazing job, family and friends to sit alone with our young son in a new city while he travels most of the week for his job. Feeling hopeless, sad, lonenly...how does a hard working go getter like me wind up like this??? You know how you got there. Maybe the question is how do you deal with it. One quick suggestion is to immediately get up and go get it in NY. Are you in the city (NYC)? I'd think an energetic woman would totally crank forth there. I am in a small city about 4 hours west of NYC. There are plenty of employment opportunities in my field, but haven't had any interest in pursuing them. Perhaps I will work on getting my license in this state and go back to work in the fall when my son is in school full time. It may help get my emotions in check and my self esteem back up.
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2016 10:13:31 GMT -5
You know how you got there. Maybe the question is how do you deal with it. One quick suggestion is to immediately get up and go get it in NY. Are you in the city (NYC)? I'd think an energetic woman would totally crank forth there. I am in a small city about 4 hours west of NYC. There are plenty of employment opportunities in my field, but haven't had any interest in pursuing them. Perhaps I will work on getting my license in this state and go back to work in the fall when my son is in school full time. It may help get my emotions in check and my self esteem back up. Well, I'm sorry you're displaced. Try to make of it what you can. But I will say that NY is by some standards the most beautiful state in the US. It seems to have everything there. Chicago is a cool city (I still live back here) but I have to really get creative to come up with recreational activities that don't involve the actual city. Miles and miles of corn fields and swamps is great, but......
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Post by greatcoastal on May 24, 2016 10:52:30 GMT -5
Thank you Z and Petrushka! I am not even sure where to start with my story. I've been reading a few of the posts and find myself shaking my head in agreement. I hate being in a SM, but not sure if I can leave anytime soon. He has moved me away from our hometown near Chicago to NY for his job/promotion. I had to give up my amazing job, family and friends to sit alone with our young son in a new city while he travels most of the week for his job. Feeling hopeless, sad, lonenly...how does a hard working go getter like me wind up like this??? That is a great starter. You should post that under sexless marriage issues, and be prepared to be dazzled with compassion and helpful advise for your situation. i was in a similar situation 14 yrs ago. Moved away from my dream house, my home state, placed in a situation where family, children, career all came first. Marriage,and that only bond you can receive from your spouse gets put on the back burner. Now you may feel like it is your job to move it to the front? This is where fear, doubts, concerns, lack of trust, bad communication comes in. This group can help you realize if that ship can be put back on course, or is to far down stream. at your service mam!
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2016 14:22:37 GMT -5
Thank you Z and Petrushka! I am not even sure where to start with my story. I've been reading a few of the posts and find myself shaking my head in agreement. I hate being in a SM, but not sure if I can leave anytime soon. He has moved me away from our hometown near Chicago to NY for his job/promotion. I had to give up my amazing job, family and friends to sit alone with our young son in a new city while he travels most of the week for his job. Feeling hopeless, sad, lonenly...how does a hard working go getter like me wind up like this??? That is a great starter. You should post that under sexless marriage issues, and be prepared to be dazzled with compassion and helpful advise for your situation. i was in a similar situation 14 yrs ago. Moved away from my dream house, my home state, placed in a situation where family, children, career all came first. Marriage,and that only bond you can receive from your spouse gets put on the back burner. Now you may feel like it is your job to move it to the front? This is where fear, doubts, concerns, lack of trust, bad communication comes in. This group can help you realize if that ship can be put back on course, or is to far down stream. at your service mam! Greatcoastal --Thanks for the tip on where to post! I'm curious, did your marriage survive the stress of moving? I am seriously considering getting my old job back and leaving with or without him.
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Post by greatcoastal on May 24, 2016 15:25:39 GMT -5
That is a great starter. You should post that under sexless marriage issues, and be prepared to be dazzled with compassion and helpful advise for your situation. i was in a similar situation 14 yrs ago. Moved away from my dream house, my home state, placed in a situation where family, children, career all came first. Marriage,and that only bond you can receive from your spouse gets put on the back burner. Now you may feel like it is your job to move it to the front? This is where fear, doubts, concerns, lack of trust, bad communication comes in. This group can help you realize if that ship can be put back on course, or is to far down stream. at your service mam! Greatcoastal --Thanks for the tip on where to post! I'm curious, did your marriage survive the stress of moving? I am seriously considering getting my old job back and leaving with or without him. Many folks here know my history, it's rather lengthy, ( hopefully helpful) I will send you a private message, so I won't take up space here.
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2016 17:21:24 GMT -5
You know how you got there. Maybe the question is how do you deal with it. One quick suggestion is to immediately get up and go get it in NY. Are you in the city (NYC)? I'd think an energetic woman would totally crank forth there. I am in a small city about 4 hours west of NYC. There are plenty of employment opportunities in my field, but haven't had any interest in pursuing them. Perhaps I will work on getting my license in this state and go back to work in the fall when my son is in school full time. It may help get my emotions in check and my self esteem back up. Getting back into work is a great idea. It will give you a source of money - and that's never bad. It will also give you something that YOU did, that is separate from the world of your husband and child. That does wonders for the self-esteem.
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Post by wewbwb on May 25, 2016 15:18:59 GMT -5
I am in a small city about 4 hours west of NYC. There are plenty of employment opportunities in my field, but haven't had any interest in pursuing them. Perhaps I will work on getting my license in this state and go back to work in the fall when my son is in school full time. It may help get my emotions in check and my self esteem back up. Getting back into work is a great idea. It will give you a source of money - and that's never bad. It will also give you something that YOU did, that is separate from the world of your husband and child. That does wonders for the self-esteem. @anniec ALWAYS listen to @smartkat - she's - um er - smart! And as always spot on.
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Post by Pseudofrozen on May 26, 2016 1:03:26 GMT -5
I'm brand new here, in a sexless marriage from day 2 almost 4 years ago. A friend pointed me here, probably so I would stop whining to him, since he is in a similar situation. Teach me, oh wise ones, how not to run screaming into the night?
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Post by unmatched on May 26, 2016 2:48:45 GMT -5
I'm brand new here, in a sexless marriage from day 2 almost 4 years ago. A friend pointed me here, probably so I would stop whining to him, since he is in a similar situation. Teach me, oh wise ones, how not to run screaming into the night? If you are in a sexless marriage since day 2 there is a fair argument that running screaming into the night is actually the most sane thing you could do!
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Post by Admin on May 26, 2016 8:02:36 GMT -5
In the near future, I'm likely to CHANGE the Introduction thread. As you see, it is getting VERY LONG. I fear that may make the thread less "approachable"... more intractable to read or keep up on.
PROPOSED CHANGE:
- Make the "Introduction" area it's own message BOARD. - Each new person starts a THREAD of their own. All the "welcome" messages greeting that person, and a brief discussion of his/her issues are on that one THREAD. - The next person starts his/her own THREAD. - MOVE this thread to that board, but lock it (allowing no more additions). - If any of the mods want to go about carving up this thread in to separate ones... be my guest.
BENEFITS:
- Newer members posts/discussion float to the TOP of the new "Introductions" board, rather than being appended at the END of a single thread with nearly 350 posts.
Comments, questions, complaints, or kudos? PM me.
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Post by thefullmoon on May 26, 2016 12:33:53 GMT -5
I think new post for each new person is ideal.
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Post by studly on May 26, 2016 14:33:52 GMT -5
Hi all, I was on EP. I'm new on here from Denver.
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Post by greatcoastal on May 26, 2016 14:55:23 GMT -5
Hi all, I was on EP. I'm new on here from Denver. Welcome from Florida. Feel free to share with us.
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2016 15:13:18 GMT -5
Hi all, I was on EP. I'm new on here from Denver. Welcome! Jump right in to whatever discussions move you. Lots of great, supportive people here.
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metoo
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Post by metoo on May 28, 2016 20:50:20 GMT -5
Hi. I'm new to the forum. Trying to find a solution for my situation.
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