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Post by cagedtiger on Jun 15, 2016 7:30:54 GMT -5
Hi everybody!
I'm cagedtiger, and just found this site late last night when I started looking online for people to talk with about my fairly new (13 months), yet quite sexless marriage.
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Post by JMX on Jun 15, 2016 8:40:11 GMT -5
Welcome cagedtiger - post in the SM issues if you have not already done so. An historical background can be helpful! |
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Post by cagedtiger on Jun 15, 2016 9:01:15 GMT -5
Thank, jmx! Just did so a little while ago.
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Post by Casiyessie on Jun 15, 2016 15:35:22 GMT -5
 Oh wow just found the different sections on here. I already introduced myself but why not twice! I'm xxyesenia25 from EP! I'm not sure how to work my way around here and I don't get notifications when someone answers me to if I don't respond I'll eventually find it!  Hope I can offer support or even just an ear to vent to if needed. 
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ringo
New Member
Posts: 1 
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Post by ringo on Jun 19, 2016 6:21:40 GMT -5
Hi. Just found my way here from EP (I was Ringo68). Father's Day rejection led me to search you all out! Oh, and the last years of rejection, promises and more rejection - and of course rejection!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 19, 2016 10:03:03 GMT -5
Hi. Just found my way here from EP (I was Ringo68). Father's Day rejection led me to search you all out! Oh, and the last years of rejection, promises and more rejection - and of course rejection! I'm sorry your Father's Day has included rejection. That sucks beyond belief. However, welcome to our group. You'll find a lot of sympathy, advice if you want it, and definitely a place to vent. |
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unkakris
Junior Member
Trying to Figure This Out
Posts: 86
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by unkakris on Jun 21, 2016 22:23:24 GMT -5
Hi, I found this board about a week ago. Lurking. Thumbnail is together 16 years, living in the same house 6 years, and 5 times in the last year.
She has fibromyalgia, depression, OCD, anxiety, and what seems like an undiagnosed eating disorder.
I am a giver. EMT, CERT, own a cafe where I love to take care of my customers. Long time gamer, father, good friend, schmart guy, mid-40s.
She hurts all the time, and sex, even physical contact can be painful.
I take care of her and her adult son, who stays in his room all day.
Even worse, after reading here for a bit, I think sometimes I'm the refuser!?!
When she asks for sex I comply, but I'm afraid to offer, afraid to start. Even a backrub or massage cam hurt.
She smokes cigarettes , drinks beer, and smokes pot (legal in Washington state) to handle her pain. But, I fear it makes her pain worse.
I feel like I've tried to help, but after all these years she seems like she doesn't want any growth or change.
So. God. Damn. Tired.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2016 22:37:34 GMT -5
You certainly do seem like a very giving person.
When the two of you first got together, did she have these health issues?
In my case, my ex's health issues started about 7 years into the relationship. I hung in there for a total of another 7 years. I finally couldn't handle it any more, and the end for me was when he said he was already trying [to solve the problems] as much as he was going to - to me, it sounded like he was saying this was as good as it was going to get.
Are there things that she could to do improve her health?
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jun 22, 2016 1:05:35 GMT -5
Hi, I found this board about a week ago. Lurking. Thumbnail is together 16 years, living in the same house 6 years, and 5 times in the last year. She has fibromyalgia, depression, OCD, anxiety, and what seems like an undiagnosed eating disorder. I am a giver. EMT, CERT, own a cafe where I love to take care of my customers. Long time gamer, father, good friend, schmart guy, mid-40s. She hurts all the time, and sex, even physical contact can be painful. I take care of her and her adult son, who stays in his room all day. Even worse, after reading here for a bit, I think sometimes I'm the refuser!?! When she asks for sex I comply, but I'm afraid to offer, afraid to start. Even a backrub or massage cam hurt. She smokes cigarettes , drinks beer, and smokes pot (legal in Washington state) to handle her pain. But, I fear it makes her pain worse. I feel like I've tried to help, but after all these years she seems like she doesn't want any growth or change. So. God. Damn. Tired. We all feel you unkakrisYou ll find lots of friendly people without judgement here. Welcome xxx |
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unkakris
Junior Member
Trying to Figure This Out
Posts: 86
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by unkakris on Jun 22, 2016 5:52:09 GMT -5
eternaloptimism@smartkat Thank you for the welcome. We have been doing yoga two days a week as a couple for about a year now. She has seen some improvement in strength and flexibility, but continually complains about her pain. It is growing worse, and I hear her constantly complain. And all day long she is judgemental and critical. Only after two beers does she sometimes mellow. Then she might apologize for something harsh she said earlier. But 6 years of walking on eggshells 95% of the time... 5% isn't enough. Sorry, but it's not enough.
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jun 22, 2016 15:18:11 GMT -5
eternaloptimism@smartkat Thank you for the welcome. We have been doing yoga two days a week as a couple for about a year now. She has seen some improvement in strength and flexibility, but continually complains about her pain. It is growing worse, and I hear her constantly complain. And all day long she is judgemental and critical. Only after two beers does she sometimes mellow. Then she might apologize for something harsh she said earlier. But 6 years of walking on eggshells 95% of the time... 5% isn't enough. Sorry, but it's not enough. Similar to my dickhead. I mean other half. Loves a moan he does! I've asked him to try yoga (back issues long standing surgery HAS corrected it but he still uses it as an excuse!) There is only one answer. You know it I know it we all do. But it's a hell of a journey to do the deed. That's where this place is a great help/distraction/ sounding board! Lots of love xxx |
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Post by asexualdave on Jun 22, 2016 19:13:27 GMT -5
Hello all! I just found this site thru an article I read. I really hope this site will be a good source of info and support.
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Post by DryCreek on Jun 22, 2016 20:05:56 GMT -5
Hello all! I just found this site thru an article I read. I really hope this site will be a good source of info and support. Welcome! Can you provide a link to the article? I don't think the site has been quoted before, so it'd be interesting to see. |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2016 1:31:12 GMT -5
Hi, I found this board about a week ago. Lurking. Thumbnail is together 16 years, living in the same house 6 years, and 5 times in the last year. She has fibromyalgia, depression, OCD, anxiety, and what seems like an undiagnosed eating disorder. I am a giver. EMT, CERT, own a cafe where I love to take care of my customers. Long time gamer, father, good friend, schmart guy, mid-40s. She hurts all the time, and sex, even physical contact can be painful. I take care of her and her adult son, who stays in his room all day. Even worse, after reading here for a bit, I think sometimes I'm the refuser!?! When she asks for sex I comply, but I'm afraid to offer, afraid to start. Even a backrub or massage cam hurt. She smokes cigarettes , drinks beer, and smokes pot (legal in Washington state) to handle her pain. But, I fear it makes her pain worse. I feel like I've tried to help, but after all these years she seems like she doesn't want any growth or change. So. God. Damn. Tired. You don't want to have sex with her because why would you? Is your fear that you will break her, or are you afraid that you want to? Not that you will, but afraid of what feeling that way says about you. Which it only says you're human, not that you're a monster. But you're the giver, the one everyone leans on. You're not allowed to be so mad at someone you want to kill them. I'm not a doctor (shrink included so pay your dollar and take the above for what it's worth), but I know of no medical condition for which the standard of care is beer, bud, and cancer sticks. No, she and her deadbeat son are parasites who use her disease to confuse a good hearted host into giving more than he has. Can you in good conscience leave a sick person? If they refuse to take care of themselves, hell yes. |
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Post by cc on Jun 23, 2016 17:47:17 GMT -5
Hello, I just found this board.
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Oh wow just found the different sections on here. I already introduced myself but why not twice! 
Hope I can offer support or even just an ear to vent to if needed. 
