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Post by sadkat on Apr 28, 2021 22:04:47 GMT -5
Was there any conclusion to this discussion deadzone75 ? Or was it left open ended for another discussion in the future? We agreed on an exit by the end of the year, if not sooner. The logistics will be a bit more to sort out on my end since she'll stay and I'll go. Wow! I wasn’t expecting that answer! I know you must be feeling a mixture of relief and uncertainty. FWIW- I think leaving is the right thing to do. I certainly don’t regret leaving my marriage. That being said, you’re facing a difficult road. Lean on the people who care about you. If you need any advice or just a listening empathetic ear, you know where to find me.
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Post by deadzone75 on Apr 28, 2021 23:05:04 GMT -5
We agreed on an exit by the end of the year, if not sooner. The logistics will be a bit more to sort out on my end since she'll stay and I'll go. Wow! I wasn’t expecting that answer! I know you must be feeling a mixture of relief and uncertainty. FWIW- I think leaving is the right thing to do. I certainly don’t regret leaving my marriage. That being said, you’re facing a difficult road. Lean on the people who care about you. If you need any advice or just a listening empathetic ear, you know where to find me. Thank you. It's surreal right now. I've gone from elation to panic to everything in between. This morning in the shower I got mad because I thought she stole my thunder by initiating the conversation. I fantasized about it for years, and I ended up going out like a punk. But I guess it doesn't matter how I got here, as long as I got here, to where I know it needs to be.
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Post by isthisit on Apr 29, 2021 0:28:50 GMT -5
Wow! I wasn’t expecting that answer! I know you must be feeling a mixture of relief and uncertainty. FWIW- I think leaving is the right thing to do. I certainly don’t regret leaving my marriage. That being said, you’re facing a difficult road. Lean on the people who care about you. If you need any advice or just a listening empathetic ear, you know where to find me. Thank you. It's surreal right now. I've gone from elation to panic to everything in between. This morning in the shower I got mad because I thought she stole my thunder by initiating the conversation. I fantasized about it for years, and I ended up going out like a punk. But I guess it doesn't matter how I got here, as long as I got here, to where I know it needs to be. Oh yes, I remember the elation to panic rollercoaster very well. It’s dreadful for a bit then plateau’s out to just lumpy. Please try to be kind to yourself. There’s nothing else to do but to keep moving forward. When I read your news my first irrational thought was that I would be cross that W had initiated the split. As you say it doesn’t matter at all as long as you get there, but damn that would smart. Oh, and I think you have become delusional. I can see from your photo that you are quite clearly not a punk. No multi-coloured Mohican, no chains on your clothes and no pins in your face. 😉
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Post by deadzone75 on Apr 29, 2021 1:40:16 GMT -5
Thank you. It's surreal right now. I've gone from elation to panic to everything in between. This morning in the shower I got mad because I thought she stole my thunder by initiating the conversation. I fantasized about it for years, and I ended up going out like a punk. But I guess it doesn't matter how I got here, as long as I got here, to where I know it needs to be. Oh yes, I remember the elation to panic rollercoaster very well. It’s dreadful for a bit then plateau’s out to just lumpy. Please try to be kind to yourself. There’s nothing else to do but to keep moving forward. When I read your news my first irrational thought was that I would be cross that W had initiated the split. As you say it doesn’t matter at all as long as you get there, but damn that would smart. Oh, and I think you have become delusional. I can see from your photo that you are quite clearly not a punk. No multi-coloured Mohican, no chains on your clothes and no pins in your face. 😉 Maybe punk was a poor description. I believe you are familiar with "candy-ass".
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Post by isthisit on Apr 29, 2021 1:47:41 GMT -5
Oh yes, I remember the elation to panic rollercoaster very well. It’s dreadful for a bit then plateau’s out to just lumpy. Please try to be kind to yourself. There’s nothing else to do but to keep moving forward. When I read your news my first irrational thought was that I would be cross that W had initiated the split. As you say it doesn’t matter at all as long as you get there, but damn that would smart. Oh, and I think you have become delusional. I can see from your photo that you are quite clearly not a punk. No multi-coloured Mohican, no chains on your clothes and no pins in your face. 😉 Maybe punk was a poor description. I believe you are familiar with "candy-ass". A sweet tasting bottom? Surely not.
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Post by deadzone75 on Apr 29, 2021 1:59:24 GMT -5
Maybe punk was a poor description. I believe you are familiar with "candy-ass". A sweet tasting bottom? Surely not. It's buttocks sprinkled with powdered sugar, like a carnival funnel cake without the paper plate.
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Post by Handy on Apr 29, 2021 10:26:21 GMT -5
candy ass = reluctant to doing what some people see as obvious avoiding a fight or conflict.
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Post by deadzone75 on Apr 29, 2021 10:55:43 GMT -5
candy ass = reluctant to doing what some people see as obvious avoiding a fight or conflict. Made famous by The Rock, if there are any old school wrestling fans out there.
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Post by Handy on Apr 29, 2021 11:16:10 GMT -5
When I was in the Army, "candy-ass" refereed to guys complaining that training was too difficult and not wanting to train in the rain. Sugar dissolves when wet so candy-ass referred to falling apart when wet or when a person encountered difficulties.
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Post by isthisit on Apr 29, 2021 13:19:45 GMT -5
candy ass = reluctant to doing what some people see as obvious avoiding a fight or conflict. Thank you for the explanation. It isn’t as much fun as I had imagined. FWIW deadzone75 I don’t think that definition applies to you, or to any of us. Resilience is required to just keep afloat in shithole marriages. If you are guilty of anything it might be an abundance of resilience.
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Post by Handy on Apr 29, 2021 13:56:04 GMT -5
Sayings and phrases have meaning based on time and circumstances. My army "candy-ass" applied to that situation and time. What ever Deadzone75 meant by "candy-ass" is likely different than my 50+ year ago Army experiences.
BTW, I wasn't judging DZ75. I was mostly giving an example based on an old USA situation for people that live in other countries.
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Post by isthisit on Apr 29, 2021 14:21:31 GMT -5
Sayings and phrases have meaning based on time and circumstances. My army "candy-ass" applied to that situation and time. What ever Deadzone75 meant by "candy-ass" is likely different than my 50+ year ago Army experiences. BTW, I wasn't judging DZ75. I was mostly giving an example based on an old USA situation for people that live in other countries. I am sorry if I gave that impression, that was not my intention at all. Merely an encouragement for DZ not to be quite so hard on himself. My vocabulary has been delightfully expanded here. The word “junk” is my absolute favourite and I use it at every opportunity, including clinically. I think “candy ass” is a bit of a risk as I assumed it was something to do with delicious bottoms. I shouldn’t be out on my own sometimes.
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Post by Handy on Apr 29, 2021 14:58:48 GMT -5
Isthisit, I am sorry if I have that impression, that was not my intention at all. Merely an encouragement for DZ not to be quite so hard on himself.
No problem on my end and thank you for encouraging DZ75 to not be so hard on himself.
Phrases and sayings very from place to place and time to a point that what I thought was something positive to now i don;t know what it means so I cut back using some phrases that "I thought" were uplifting. I have decided unless I have a good idea what a phrase means to a person I am communicating with, I will often forgo the colloquial (slang term) word or words.
This does not apply to the forum where we have somewhat understood terms that are frequently used and most often understood by regular posters.
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Post by Handy on Apr 29, 2021 15:45:11 GMT -5
DZ75 Made famous by The Rock,
I had to look up "The Rock" Dwayne Johnson because from my generation "the rock" referred to Rock Hudson.
The two "Rocks" are very different people.
This is another example of terms or famous short hand descriptions / meaning of something different, based on time and location.
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Post by baza on Apr 29, 2021 18:23:52 GMT -5
In unravelling an ILIASM deal, you don't get bonus points for technical excellence, nor do you get points for artistic merit or style. For that matter you don't get extra points for being the initiator of the split either. Whilst being mindful of it being a good idea to try and keep things civil, the goal is to get out. Good luck Brother deadzone75 . Short term, this is going to be one of the most difficult things you've ever done, but it is the longer term goal to keep your eye on.
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