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Post by mrslowmaintenance on Jun 23, 2017 14:36:08 GMT -5
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Post by solodriver on Jun 23, 2017 21:38:37 GMT -5
This is awesome MLM. This is definitely appropriate reading for us in SM in helping to prepare for "The Talk". Thanks for posting!
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Post by merrygoround on Jun 23, 2017 22:23:19 GMT -5
Man, I could have done with reading this before our countless "discussions" over the years. Never mind. Excellent article!
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Post by ironhamster on Jun 24, 2017 6:27:30 GMT -5
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Post by Venus Erotes on Jun 24, 2017 8:40:14 GMT -5
I've been around a while, but I keep seeing "LL". What does it stand for here? I trust it's not Living Large....
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Post by hopingforachange on Jun 24, 2017 8:43:33 GMT -5
LL= Low libido
HL= high libido
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Post by Venus Erotes on Jun 24, 2017 8:45:15 GMT -5
AH!!!! Gotcha. THANK YOU!
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Post by lifeinwoodinville on Jun 24, 2017 9:33:52 GMT -5
Awesome! Now I just need to memorize that. Lol!
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Post by beachguy on Jun 24, 2017 10:54:31 GMT -5
While that approach might have been successful with the blog author (*), I would strongly recommend that anyone taking this approach have a Plan B in the event your spouse cannot be reasoned with, no matter how carefully you prepare. If you go into a Talk with the idea that it will work, and have no alternate plan, you may well be blind sided.
(*) I didn't see anything in that blog post describing his success or failure. Maybe I missed it.
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Post by ironhamster on Jun 24, 2017 14:46:52 GMT -5
I got a text this morning from the wife. She's finally ready to talk about "our relationship issues." Thus ends "don't ask don't tell."
This reddit post seems very timely. All in all, I'd rather that this waited until after my daughter's wedding.
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Post by mrslowmaintenance on Jun 24, 2017 15:56:10 GMT -5
I got a text this morning from the wife. She's finally ready to talk about "our relationship issues." Thus ends "don't ask don't tell." This reddit post seems very timely. All in all, I'd rather that this waited until after my daughter's wedding. Let us all know how it goes! |
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Post by mrslowmaintenance on Jun 24, 2017 16:05:16 GMT -5
While that approach might have been successful with the blog author (*), I would strongly recommend that anyone taking this approach have a Plan B in the event your spouse cannot be reasoned with, no matter how carefully you prepare. If you go into a Talk with the idea that it will work, and have no alternate plan, you may well be blind sided. (*) I didn't see anything in that blog post describing his success or failure. Maybe I missed it. Reddit isn't really a blog, if you select the user that posted this cluster of information you can see other things they have posted and commented on. I agree that this should not be the only plan! I also think this gives the refused a good guide on how to approach responding to a refusers attempts to DARVO the discussion. It is quite easy to get side tracked and pushed away from the real point of such a discussion like this. Having a good mental note on phrases to keep the discussion grounded (and keep it a discussion rather than an argument) |
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Post by merrygoround on Jun 24, 2017 23:11:42 GMT -5
Good luck ironhamster! Timing is never great, is it but at least you have some time to psyche yourself up and mentally prepare x |
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Post by baza on Jun 24, 2017 23:26:51 GMT -5
There's two versions of the talk.
#1 - as per the referenced article where it is in effect an ultimatum (and the article makes it quite clear that you need to be prepared and willing to leave if you embark on this one).
#2 - is where #1 fails, and is in effect a statement of intent, not a negotiation or an ultimatum, where you act on your preparedness and will to leave.
In either event, it is imperative that you have your legal advice / exit strategy / support network in place BEFORE you say a word.
In either event, there is no room for bullshit, bluffing or brinkmanship.
Whatever you say, you must mean and be prepared to follow it up with action.
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laura
Junior Member
Posts: 72 
Age Range: 31-35
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Post by laura on Jun 28, 2017 16:37:47 GMT -5
I'm going to commit this one to memory. Excellent post!
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