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Post by dallasgia on Jun 30, 2019 8:06:03 GMT -5
Do you think neglecting your spouse for years is implied consent for outsourcing? I am speaking legally & emotionally?
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Post by hopingforachange on Jun 30, 2019 8:26:34 GMT -5
Legally, I would suspect in most jurisdictions, no. But emotionally, yes.
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Post by noregretz on Jun 30, 2019 9:27:50 GMT -5
Justifiable adultery? Legally, no. Divorce attorneys love this. Emotionally? Depends on how much pain you can tolerate (with or without)
Nobody can answer this but yourself.
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Post by northstarmom on Jun 30, 2019 10:43:19 GMT -5
Consider that your refuser may believe that since you’ve been consenting to a sexless marriage, your remaining in the marriage is implied consent to your being celibate.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jun 30, 2019 11:34:39 GMT -5
I somewhat agree with nsm on this question. If you have stayed and allowed a SM to be the status quo then by implication you have consented to the arrangement. Unless or until you have made it clear to your W that current conditions are unacceptable then she has little reason to believe that they aren't perfectly acceptable to you.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 30, 2019 11:47:15 GMT -5
I somewhat agree with nsm on this question. If you have stayed and allowed a SM to be the status quo then by implication you have consented to the arrangement. Unless or until you have made it clear to your W that current conditions are unacceptable then she has little reason to believe that they aren't perfectly acceptable to you. Sadly, when you do "make it clear"- like it wasn't CLEAR ENOUGH when you got married- it will go in one ear and out the other! More DARVO. Deny and avoid. Weather it is "acceptable to you", has little merit to a refuser. They are happy and getting what they want. Even sadder is that it comes down to power and control. Including money/finances.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 30, 2019 11:49:40 GMT -5
Do you think neglecting your spouse for years is implied consent for outsourcing? I am speaking legally & emotionally? Legally it is not supposed to matter....in most states. Most couples revert to "irreconcilable differences".
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Post by noregretz on Jun 30, 2019 12:30:25 GMT -5
IF, your denier has a good lawyer, evidence of adultery can absolutely affect a divorce settlement..
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Post by worksforme2 on Jun 30, 2019 14:55:57 GMT -5
IF, your denier has a good lawyer, evidence of adultery can absolutely affect a divorce settlement.. I agree it can, but there is nothing that says it will. Speaking with my attorney during my 1st divorce I brought up having phone and credit card records showing my then W had spent weekends away with someone she was seeing while still married to me. Doesn't matter stated my attorney. Adultery doesn't come into play. My attorney said that unless one was a habitual drug user, a repeat offender currently facing charges, or clearly someone of exceedingly low moral standards, the judges in my local didn't give weight to much else.
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Post by noregretz on Jun 30, 2019 15:01:35 GMT -5
IF, your denier has a good lawyer, evidence of adultery can absolutely affect a divorce settlement.. I agree it can, but there is nothing that says it will. Speaking with my attorney during my 1st divorce I brought up having phone and credit card records showing my then W had spent weekends away with someone she was seeing while still married to me. Doesn't matter stated my attorney. Adultery doesn't come into play. My attorney said that unless one was a habitual drug user, a repeat offender currently facing charges, or clearly someone of exceedingly low moral standards, the judges in my local didn't give weight to much else. the judges in my local didn't give weight to much else.... This is key. Your local judges. YMMV...
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Post by worksforme2 on Jun 30, 2019 15:01:38 GMT -5
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Post by northstarmom on Jun 30, 2019 18:16:48 GMT -5
Worksforme said: “Adultery doesn't come into play. My attorney said that unless one was a habitual drug user, a repeat offender currently facing charges, or clearly someone of exceedingly low moral standards, the judges in my local didn't give weight to much else. ”
The adulterer’s guilt may lead them to make concessions they wouldn’t have otherwise.
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Post by baza on Jun 30, 2019 19:47:12 GMT -5
Do you think neglecting your spouse for years is implied consent for outsourcing? I am speaking legally & emotionally? If, in your fully informed opinion, cheating looks like the way to go for you, then do it. But take ownership of that choice. Take responsibility for that choice. Don't try to hang the responsibility on your spouse. If you are going to do this, it needs to be because you see it to be in your longer term best interests to do so. What your spouse may have "implied" is not especially relevant. Your spouse has already made their choice in regard to the marriage, so the responsibility for the next choice is yours to make. This is entirely your call dallasgia .
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Post by bballgirl on Jul 3, 2019 9:49:23 GMT -5
I do not need consent whether it’s implied or not.
If the spouse is not interested in YOUR sexuality then YOUR sexuality is none of their business.
Nobody has control of my body unless perhaps we are both naked!
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Post by flashjohn on Jul 3, 2019 15:00:19 GMT -5
Do you think neglecting your spouse for years is implied consent for outsourcing? I am speaking legally & emotionally? Since most states have no-fault divorce now, it probably will not have much effect on the property division. My friends who do family law (God bless them) tell me that at most, it can have a 2-5% affect on the property division. As for child custody, the mother gets primary with the dad getting every Thursday and every other weekend 99% of the time.
Emotionally, refusing sex in marriage for over 6 months is more than enough implied consent for outsourcing. It is unreasonable to expect a normal, healthy man or woman to live a celibate life.
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