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Post by lessingham on Feb 12, 2020 4:16:05 GMT -5
My birthday this weekend. She booked us in a city I have never wanted to see, after rejecting all my suggestions. Apparently my son wants to go there. She has forgotten to book a birthday meal. There is no parking at the accomodstion. She has booked no treats. There will be no sex (strange bed, strange place , son in next room, people will hear etc). Today she is paying to have her hair cut, 100 quid. I am so desperately nailing on a smile. Yesterday she announced she wants Venice for her birthday. I long to kiss her at the airport as she flies off to Venice and I catch a plane to Pattaya. Worth it for the look on her face!
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Post by worksforme2 on Feb 12, 2020 7:56:10 GMT -5
My birthday this weekend. She booked us in a city I have never wanted to see, after rejecting all my suggestions. Apparently my son wants to go there. She has forgotten to book a birthday meal. There is no parking at the accomodstion. She has booked no treats. There will be no sex (strange bed, strange place , son in next room, people will hear etc). Today she is paying to have her hair cut, 100 quid. I am so desperately nailing on a smile. Yesterday she announced she wants Venice for her birthday. I long to kiss her at the airport as she flies off to Venice and I catch a plane to Pattaya. Worth it for the look on her face! I can relate to this. My X and I used to travel frequently and for the most part I was pretty much in for the outings, whether they were just weekenders or an extended exploration of several states and cities. But there were a couple trips that I had no interest in. The cruises held no appeal for me since I have seen quite a lot of water over the course of my life, so not much enjoyment watching the boat plow through the deep blue sea. The shows or entertainment at night was usually pretty good but really didn't make up for a day of water watching. Her last trip while in the marriage was without me. She and her daughter went to New Zealand for 8 days. I had already started distancing myself from her by this time. As she was just heading out she came over to kiss me, our 1st kiss for the week. I had no interest and she was hurt that I didn't want the kiss, but I was done with any thoughts of closeness with her at this point. I did tell her to have fun and that I would see her in 9 days, but my heart definitely wasn't in it. |
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Post by h on Feb 12, 2020 8:41:18 GMT -5
Yeah. My wife is spectacularly good at planning my birthday around what she wants to do and what she thinks I SHOULD want to do. We never go away for my birthday because neither of us can get time off from work at that time of year. She always plans basically the exact opposite of what I tell her I want. She plans a whole evening of activities and dinner out (that I have to pay for) and with a bunch of friends keeping us out way later than I ever like to be out. I end up having an ok time but I'm exhausted for a week after catching up on sleep. I would have been happier just staying home and doing nothing.
Last year she finally listened to me after asking her for several years to stop buying me gifts. I told her multiple times to just take whatever she was going to spend and pay it down on a debt somewhere. I had been telling her that for years but she finally listened and I thanked her for it. We still had to do the evening out, but at least it was something in the right direction.
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grower
Junior Member
Posts: 79 
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Post by grower on Feb 12, 2020 8:43:40 GMT -5
Got to love that SM family getaways. You
have my sympathy. Would it help if I have
a few cold beers and a big fat joint in
your honor. "of course medicinal only"
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Post by northstarmom on Feb 13, 2020 17:15:30 GMT -5
Lessingham, instead of complaining, you have the powers to plan and execute the birthday you want without your wife. Let her enjoy by herself the birthday she planned for herself. You have choices including the choice to leave on your birthday and to do what you want. Or you can accept what your wife planned and then whine about it.
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Post by Handy on Feb 14, 2020 0:17:24 GMT -5
On my birthday I plan the event and give small gifts to the attendees or pay the restaurant bill. It solves a lot of "what if" issues.
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Post by workingonit on Feb 14, 2020 6:10:26 GMT -5
The idea that my h would ever plan any birthday or holiday or any special event for me is just laughable. He never has, never will. If I want something I plan it. The thing is this has never bothered me particularly. It is just not his personality and I accepted that. lessingham did your wife used to plan things around your desires or has she always been this way? |
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Post by lessingham on Feb 14, 2020 9:04:33 GMT -5
I am sorry Northstar for being a whiney little bitch but this is the only place I can vent my feelings of my SM. Normally I do book things and pick places I like. But her hate list grows. This year she nixed all my location suggestions. She insisted on booking all. But this morning she admitted she had booked no meals etc. So I sat down and did it. Just for once it would be nice to be treated. I book her birthday fantasies and arrange all. It is a one way street.
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Post by northstarmom on Feb 14, 2020 13:31:58 GMT -5
Lessingham:” I am sorry Northstar for being a whiney little bitch but this is the only place I can vent my feelings of my SM. Normally I do book things and pick places I like. But her hate list grows. This year she nixed all my location suggestions. She insisted on booking all. But this morning she admitted she had booked no meals etc. So I sat down and did it. Just for once it would be nice to be treated. I book her birthday fantasies and arrange all. It is a one way street.“
So what if she hates doing what you want to on your birthday? Do what you want by yourself or with friends instead of with your wife. My ex and I had the same birthday. Toward the end of our marriage we spent our birthdays thousands of miles apart. Those were very happy birthdays for me and probably for him. I don’t understand why you choose to spend your special days with a woman who usually treats you like crap.
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Post by saarinista on Feb 15, 2020 0:37:31 GMT -5
lessingham i don't get it either. There are nice women out there who like sex. But hey, some people just can't give up on assholes. You do you. Your wife must be fabulous and super hot for you to stay with her. I hope she's worth the pain. Cheers.
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Post by baza on Feb 15, 2020 2:55:45 GMT -5
You make your own choices Brother lessingham . Oftentimes it reads like your choice is to go along with her choice. Which essentially means you are letting her make your choices for you. But, it is still your choice to allow her to do that. Now, it might be timely to review how this policy of letting your missus make your choices for you has worked out. Taking all your threads and posts into context, it all reads like this has been a very bad policy, not at all life enhancing for you. But the fact is, it is what you have chosen .... so far. Will you continue with this policy ? Now there's a radical choice for you to consider. But really Brother, your missus' record of choosing (as far as outcomes goes) is fucking awful. Were you to adopt a policy of making your own choices, I doubt that you could possibly do a worse job than her. |
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Post by ScottDinTN on Feb 15, 2020 7:25:57 GMT -5
We almost never travel together anymore. Our last family vacation was 3 or 4 years ago and she ended up staying in the hotel most of the time.
She and I have never driven well together. She can't help but tell me how to drive constantly. Drives me nuts. The only way I have discovered to tolerate it is to let her drive first till she's tired then I drive while she's asleep.
Lately we don't even try to plan trips together. We end up just planning separate trips that we each take the kids on. It's more peaceful that way. But more lonely at times.
Can't wait to take a trip to the beach some day with a woman that wants to do things together. A daily walk on the beach holding hands, enjoy a few attractions, daily cuddles, sex when we want, enjoying the drive home stopping at a few places to explore and enjoy each other's company....
Any volunteers? Lol
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Post by solodriver on Feb 15, 2020 14:05:56 GMT -5
We almost never travel together anymore. Our last family vacation was 3 or 4 years ago and she ended up staying in the hotel most of the time. She and I have never driven well together. She can't help but tell me how to drive constantly. Drives me nuts. The only way I have discovered to tolerate it is to let her drive first till she's tired then I drive while she's asleep. Lately we don't even try to plan trips together. We end up just planning separate trips that we each take the kids on. It's more peaceful that way. But more lonely at times. Can't wait to take a trip to the beach some day with a woman that wants to do things together. A daily walk on the beach holding hands, enjoy a few attractions, daily cuddles, sex when we want, enjoying the drive home stopping at a few places to explore and enjoy each other's company.... Any volunteers? Lol I'm doing exactly the same thing, hence my name "Solodriver"
Our last trip together was over 20 years ago. And my wife is the same way, complained about my driving the entire time we went anywhere. Now it's just me and the music I can enjoy (which she also didn't like and would bring her music to play in my car).
And that beach dream is one I have too, along with a cabin in the woods and camping. 
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Post by ScottDinTN on Feb 16, 2020 1:09:05 GMT -5
And that beach dream is one I have too, along with a cabin in the woods and camping Need a roommate? Lol |
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Post by isthisit on Feb 16, 2020 5:26:26 GMT -5
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