Send or not?

Were you actually cold and remote?

If not, then you may wish to let the urge to communicate pass, as you may have dodged a bullet.

If yes, then make sure you know why and what you might do to be warm and approachable. If you've got that figured out, then you might give it a go.

Note that, by giving it a go, disappointment or rejection in some form remain a very real possibilities. But, such is true of any personal overture.

There is no intent to resume online sex. It is just an itch to know she is okay, we were friends as well as the cyber.
Yes, I think in hindsight I was remote. I could not square the person I met with the fantasy person I knew online. Plus I had a weird feeling we were being followed.
But after much thinking, if she cared any more she would have contacted me. He silence is the key to my answer. Leave the past to bury the past.

I lean towards deadzone75's answer.

What have you done to build a new social circle?
Joined any meetups? (or are you remotely located? A common ILIASM obstacle.)

You were on a fitness kick a while back. Still going? Starting again?

I am going to buck the trend a little here and say reach out to this lady. It is so easy to make negative assumptions, how can you know that she has not missed your friendship as much as you have? 

I too had an online friend I had grown very close to, and then after about a year he vanished abruptly which was pretty painful for me. I assumed our friendship had not meant to him what I thought it had, and was less important to him than it was to me. I was upset also because I felt that I knew his character and his values, and the man I thought I knew just would not behave that way. I came to terms with it, but it always troubled me that I had got him so wrong. 

Close to three years later I received an email from him. Contrary to my assumptions, he had thought of me every day since we had last had contact and missed me for everyone of them. He felt horrible but with each day that passed it got that bit harder to reach out to me. He missed my company, my friendship and my support. He explained his very challenging situation which provoked the vanishing act, but acknowledged it was no excuse for his behaviour. He wanted to apologise and ask if there was any possibility of regaining even a part of the friendship we had had, whilst also acknowledging that I would be very unlikely to read his email, let alone reply. 

I could not describe to you the shock of receiving that email and the information. (I was actually hospitalised with covid pneumonia and checked my SpO2 to see if I was deteriorating.) It is so easy to assume the negative. I can be extremely unforgiving towards people who hurt me, but this man is very special to me and I replied immediately thanking him for his courage and reassuring him that I had missed him too. He promised me that he would not depart that way again, and I have trust in his word. Our chemistry had not changed at all and we quickly returned to the fun and friendship. So, it is possible lessingham you will never know unless you try. 

I will dig out the stationary bike and give it a go.
Plus, the saddest words on a gravestone are "if only". I will chance it, either silence, an obscene go away or a friend refound!

isthisit I agree with your stance on this thread. We took often misguess people's intentions, even the intentions of our friends. Sometimes people get bored and move on, sometimes life erects a barrier.
I have one friend I lost contact with until I received an email from her husband detailing her illness and hospice care. I had assumed she had gotten bored with our friendship. I wish that was the case.


So yes lessingham should send a brief note to attempt to reestablish the friendship. The relationship can have new boundaries as needed to continue.

Life is too short and too complex, we need our friends whether online or in person.

Started the bike routine, slow at first to let my joints adjust.
Sent the email, short and simple. No boomerang reply but patience is its own reward