Send or not?

That’s bloody brilliant, I am made up for you. Your courage in risking the knock back from this lady has been rewarded. Her delay in response may have been that she was carefully considering this offer of a meet and now her courage in reaching towards you a little further should be rewarded. You must meet your friend. 

I do not see your concerns about your wife’s objections as valid at all, and if it were me I would say nothing to keep the peace. If she was a half way decent human being, let alone a half way decent spouse, she would want to promote your happiness. She doesn’t seem to me to be either, so save yourself the bother with a squeaky clean conscience. 

And I know a lot more than I used to about who can and cannot legally eject a spouse from a home in the U.K. and she cannot chuck you out of a home you co-own. I happen to think past a bit of piss and wind threats she would not want this anyway because she needs you around a lot more than you need her. You just cannot see it.  

Make up some excuse for her address to have gone missing and ask her for it again. And while you are at it, get a phone number. Speking directly to each other moves the ball far more quickly than messageing or e-mailing.