archived introductions (Oct/Nov/Dec 2016) Dec 29, 2016 6:30:05 GMT -5 via mobile GeekGoddess, timeforliving2, and 1 more like this
Post by bballgirl on Dec 29, 2016 6:30:05 GMT -5
She does want sex but is the type that never shares her true feelings. I've always had to drag them out. My friend has mentioned that me withholding is wrong during a couples night and she basically agreed and used that time to passively vent. I tried to have a one on one conversation when we were alone but she simply stated she understood the state we're in and didn't elaborate or respond any further to me.
I don't want sex with anyone else and I'm almost certain she doesn't either. I just don't know what to do. I feel the marriage is just about over because we live in a state in which we're more like friends or siblings. The marriage could definitely work but not with the lack of connection or intimacy. There is no real problem that bars it from working, so I'm starting to think it is the lack of sex that's driving the wedge. I just don't know how to even rekindie it and, honestly, I'm not even sure that I should.
I'm a very direct person but this has put me in a spot where I feel like a middle school kid wondering if I should go for 1st base or not. And i feel that I'm only concerned about having sex just to keep from continually hurting her feelings. Not sure of that is a valid enought reason.
It got to the point for me that sex felt like incest with my ex. I became a counter refuser after 2 decades of rejection, not that I got the chance to refuse my H never wanted me sexually. I would say don't do anything you don't really want to do in life but be honest with her and then it's her decision. My ex was never honest. He made excuses and I was naive and believed him. Don't have sex just so you don't hurt her feelings, nobody wants pity sex. Your wife wants to be wanted and desired and only she can figure out what is best for her life. You aren't responsible for her happiness but you are responsible to be honest with her and then you each have a right to your own choices for your own lives. You say you don't want sex with anyone else but I guess I'm wondering if you were single again, would you want sex with a woman you are dating?