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Post by northstarmom on Dec 1, 2017 12:37:57 GMT -5
“Do you think episodes like this will ever get front page coverage? This hits home when it comes to discussing divorce, sexual abuse, double standards, and control.”
Washington Post had a front pager last week about sexual harassment experienced by hotel maids.
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Post by greatcoastal on Dec 1, 2017 12:44:01 GMT -5
“Do you think episodes like this will ever get front page coverage? This hits home when it comes to discussing divorce, sexual abuse, double standards, and control.” Washington Post had a front pager last week about sexual harassment experienced by hotel maids. That definitely needs and should be addressed, but I'm wanting to see the issue of woman who (once the divorce is begun) call the police and cry phony charges of domestic abuse, and the men are guilty until proven innocent. They get evicted from their homes, fired from their jobs, and banned from their children. Then, how difficult it is to be fully proven innocent without one ounce of repercussion to the perpetrator of these life changing, devastating charges. A very f@#* system! |
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Post by northstarmom on Dec 1, 2017 13:02:17 GMT -5
“That definitely needs and should be addressed, but I'm wanting to see the issue of woman who call the police and cry phony charges of domestic abuse, and the men are guilty until proven innocent. Then what is like to be fully proven innocent without one ounce of repercussion to the perpetrator of these life changing, devastating charges.”
I know that happens but wonder how frequent it was.
Stats are thatv1 in 3 women in the US and one in 4 men are survivors of domestic abuse.
I personally know 3 women whose dads killed their fathers. My own dad hit my mom and also pushed her down the stairs. I have 2 women friends who say that back in the 1960s and 1970s, they called police because their husbands had been assaulting them. The police game but just told the couple to work out their disagreement.
I have a woman acquaintance who was shot by a male stalker. She had to go into hiding. I have another woman friend who carries s gun due to a stalker who even disconnected her home’s outside lights.
I know other women who are domestic abuse survivors but didn’t call police because they were ashamed and afraid they wouldn’t be believed.
I know that some women threaten to file false charges. However I’ve never known a woman who admitted to that. I’ve never personally known a man victimized that way.
I hope women who lie like that are successfully prosecuted. I don’t long to see such stories widely publicized because doing so would discourage actual abuse victims and keep them from being believed.
Homicide, usually by a partner, a leading cause of pregnancy-associated death in the US. 55% of homicides of women in the US are committed by intimate partners.
I’m truly sorry for men falsely accused. I know such accusations can change their lives for the worse but what concerns me more are women who may lose and are losing their lives due to domestic abuse.
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Post by Admin on Dec 1, 2017 13:26:00 GMT -5
I'm really pleased about how apolitical we've been able to keep this forum (as per forum policy).
I think it is a testimony to the wisdom of members that they know that helping each other with their SMs can (and should, in these politically charged times) be addressed while letting political discussions happen literally EVERYWHERE ELSE on the Internet.
No sense conjecturing about ANY public figure's (e.g. Mike Pence's) unspoken motives.
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Post by greatcoastal on Dec 1, 2017 14:03:07 GMT -5
Actually stories being widely publicized of harsh consequences, such as jail time, criminal records, and harsh fines, would discourage false accusations from even occurring. Instead it has become such an epidemic that police in large metropolitan areas (like Orlando) are having to ask people to scale back the abundant amount of false claims. There's not enough law enforcement to handle it. All a woman has to do is put forth an argument that she 'feels' threatened and the judge will rule in her favor. I have my own stories as well. shrink4men.com/2017/11/13/basic-facts-and-statistics-about-restraining-order-abuse-in-divorce-and-custody-disputes/ |
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Post by northstarmom on Dec 1, 2017 14:12:33 GMT -5
Where’s the evidence that false dv claims are impeding intervention in actual cases? In doing a quick google news search, I see several lawyers web pages mention they help people falsely occurred. In looking at 4 pages of google results, I saw news stories on convictions for 2 women false accuser and one man who falsely accused. I agree that false accusers should get serious consequences.
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Post by greatcoastal on Dec 1, 2017 14:16:15 GMT -5
Where’s the evidence that false dv claims are impeding intervention in actual cases? In doing a quick google news search, I see several lawyers web pages mention they help people falsely occurred. In looking at 4 pages of google results, I saw news stories on convictions for 2 women false accuser and one man who falsely accused. I agree that false accusers should get serious consequences. It's right above your post in the article that i gave you. Did you read it? |
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Post by petrushka on Dec 1, 2017 15:37:58 GMT -5
petrushka I'd like to expand upon something you said about a man not even being able to pay a woman a compliment. There's a big difference between 'you look nice today,' and 'nice tits.' However, neither of these belong in the workplace. My latest uphill work battle: Bill: good morning, beautiful. Me: thank you, but that isn't my name. Please call me by my name. The next morning: Bill: good morning, beautiful. Me: Bill, I asked you yesterday not to address me this way. This hasn't changed with the flip of the calendar. The following morning: Bill: good morning, beautiful. Me: Bill, stop addressing me this way. This went on several more times until I told him not to address me at all until he was able to address me as a colleague with a name. Since then, he has refused to speak to me at all. It's pretty funny since one of my responsibilities is coaching him and about 75 other agents. He panics when the three other coaches aren't at their desks. Of course, when he asks me for help, I will assist. His supervisor has recommended he attend a sensitivity and professionalism seminar. @andie , I am not saying there are no insensitive stupid asses out there. Or people who try to subvert authority by means like your personal idiot at work. I am not saying there is no harassment happening. Obviously there is. If I'd been in that office and witnessed what he did after the second time, I would have gotten pretty sharp and loud. In fact, I once dumped a guy as a friend because he followed a woman in to the ladies' at the neighbourhood pub when drunk and started bothering her, I dumped another guy whom I had considered a friend for years, his family staying with me, I staying with them, dumped him as a friend when, after he left his wife, he asked me to send our 18 year old farm helper 'his way'. I do have standards. I totally get your 'nice tits' comment. Rude, crude, and totally inappropriate. My comment would be "you just comprehensively disqualified yourself as a possible friend". I do not LIKE men who behave like that. It makes me cringe. But so does the current undercurrent in the social environment. As a man, never mind how mindful you are, it feels like you have to tip-toe through a field of broken glass. I wouldn't even consider flirting with a woman whom I haven't known for years, these days. Many years ago I had a colleague who was, somehow, emotionally very brittle - I never found out what had happened to her, maybe rape. She asked me if she could sleep in my bed some times and be held, but, nothing sexual please, because that freaked her out and she wanted to be held and get past her fears. I consented, and from time to time she slept in my bed, once a week or fortnight, naked, wearing only a pair of panties, and cuddled up to me. I had no hesitation to allow that. She was nice, and smart, and I enjoyed her friendship. Nothing sexual ever happened. (she was in therapy, too, b.t.w.). Would I allow that in today's climate, do you think? |
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Post by csl on Dec 1, 2017 17:32:48 GMT -5
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Post by northstarmom on Dec 1, 2017 19:07:15 GMT -5
It matters where and how the drink invitation was made. For instance just because a woman is alone doesn’t mean she wants your company.
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Post by baza on Dec 1, 2017 20:15:14 GMT -5
In my jurisdiction, over the last week, a famous tv gardener has had serious allegations of sexual misconduct levelled at him by a member of his production staff. This has prompted numerous other people to come forward saying "me too". These allegations going back years.
He then got on the front foot and gave an interview to put his side of the story.
His rebuttal case was extraordinary unconvincing, and naturally, the tv, tabloids etc have rushed to judgement.
As have the sheeple.
(As indeed have I - privately*)
The concept of "due process" has got lost in the ruck somewhere.
The bloke hasn't even been charged with anything, yet. Let alone convicted.
*privately I think on the balance of probability that the smarmy sleazey bastard is as guilty as sin. But I would also have to say that I have had a very low opinion of the bloke for years. He's always come across to me as a half smart prick.
But last I heard, being a half smart prick is not a crime in my jurisdiction.
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Post by greatcoastal on Dec 2, 2017 9:15:36 GMT -5
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Post by csl on Dec 2, 2017 23:01:53 GMT -5
It matters where and how the drink invitation was made. For instance just because a woman is alone doesn’t mean she wants your company. Still doesn't rise to the level of sexual harassment. |
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Post by northstarmom on Dec 3, 2017 13:22:03 GMT -5
Matters how the drink suggestion is made, example: woman is sitting by herself on a bench. Stranger comes over sits right by her so he is literally so close his thigh and shoulder are touching her. That is harassment. I’ve had it happen to me. It’s also frightening, rude and presumptuous.
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Post by WindSister on Dec 4, 2017 9:50:36 GMT -5
Oops. Sorry for bringing up a politicized topic, but this being the "off topic" forum, I felt maybe it was okay and I just really enjoy discussions with this group of people. I guess it's not so much "political" to me as it is just something we see playing out before our eyes in the world. I gained some fresh insight and thoughts from all of you, thanks for sharing. I read an interesting article about how the older generation is seeing all these accusations differently from the younger one. NO surprise, there, I know, but it was interesting. I can't find it again, though.
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