Matt Lauer - Another One Accused

But society looks the other way when women do it because the stereotype is that all men find this acceptable and women are incapable of sexual harassment. Way to go for the toxic side of feminism and the double standards it enforces!

The #metoo survivor that I am will always believe the victim.

Some people make me question their motives.

You don't get to meet up for a consensual tryst, or stage a feely-up scene, then cry foul because you want revenge. Or money. Or your own fifteen minutes of fame. Or are now batting for the other team.

And preying on kids and teenage girls is always wrong.

WindSister, I was in the National Guard in the early 70s and everything you described was happening then. It was the natural interplay between man and women, especially the younger service members. Some of it was over the top but it was mutual participation. And that was an MP unit, lord knows what the motor pool was like.

h, I agree there is a double standard but disagree that it is the result of feminism. I contend that men create their own double standard by maintaining silence or by bragging how the "boss lady" wants his dick.

DryCreek, 40 years may seem like a long time but should he get a free pass for pedophilia? He used his position of power to intimidate the women into remainig silient. It is now when he is in the national spotlight, by his choice, that they feel safe enough to come foward. He can no longer use his power position to silence them.

bballgirl, "don't get your honey where you get your money" - a good motto to live by. The people being skewered for messing around at work knew what they were getting into. Unfortunately, most of our personal contacts come via our careers. I can understand the attraction but that does not mean we should act upon it. I quit a great job in the mid 90s because of an emotional affair. Fortunately karma rewarded me for that decision and my new path was more lucrative.

I would like to say that I tend to believe the accusers based on my experiences. When an asshole is put in a position of power they are still an asshole. And an asshole always mistreats other people.

It's a huge issue in the realm of education also. All it takes is an accusation to ruin a person's life. Teachers get a permanent stigma regardless of how they may be completely innocent. College students are getting kicked out of universities and losing scholarships over bogus rape claims even after a police investigation clears them of wrong doing. Facts no longer matter.

Most people tend to believe the accusers. I even lean towards believing them too initially. The problem is that there's no longer any due process for the accused. Once the accusation is made, guilt is assumed without any evidence. Sometimes there is even evidence that directly contradicts the accuser's story but the accused is still ruined in the eyes of the public. It can follow them for life if anyone does a simple Google search of their name. It never goes away once it's out there. The crazy ones know all this and it emboldens them to make false accusations. It's a terrible shame because it belittles the impact of the true victims who come forward only to be doubted.

"BUT the incidents where meetings were arranged in hotel rooms?!
What were these women thinking?
Why didn't they say "let's meet in the lobby?"


1. The women may have thought the man had a suite. Bigwigs get suites. They look like small conference rooms.
2. The women may have been simply naive like the college freshman I knew who was chaperoning a trip of high school students. The other chaperone was about 30 years older than her and very fat and homely. At best, she thought of him as a mentor or a father figure. When he asked her to his room to watch TV, she went. When he greeted her in his pajamas, she felt uncomfortable, but thought there was something wrong with her for suspecting he was trying to seduce her. It was when he said that he wanted to cuddle with her on the bed that she decided to leave. He was my former employee. She was my mentee. What he did was attempt to take advantage of someone who was young and naive.

3. I also know a woman who was grey haired, about 60, chubby and a church secretary. She went to a church conference with her pastor. He asked her to come to his room to pick up some paperwork and when she got there, he pushed her on the bed and tried to rape her.

There are lots of reasons a woman may not think that an invitation to a hotel room is an invitation for sex. However, given the experiences of people like the above, when I was teaching college students and took them to conferences, I told them not to go to any person of the opposite sex's room unless they were interested in sex. I'd also seen how older men would prey on naive coeds. I also assumed the same could happen to young men, so I was very clear that unless they were interested in sex, they should not go to anyone's hotel room.

Most people, however, don't get that kind of advice and are, thus, prey for predators. In all honesty, if you were an 60ish church secretary and your pastor asked you to come pick up paperwork in hisb hotel room, would you expect him to try to rape you? Similarly, a young woman with some kind of entry job for a much older celebrity probably wouldn't expect that if he asked her to come to his room for work that he'd meet her unclothed at the door.

The Keillor one has me a bit perplexed. Apparently they hugged and her shirt was open a bit and he touched her bare back (six inches in or something?? I don't know.. just heard it on the radio). I mean, really? Yeah, I'd be creeped out too but I would laugh it off as an embarrassing moment, which is what they did in that moment, but then she sent lawyers after him. That kind of stuff is what I am talking about. That, in my opinion, is women using THEIR power to use men. Women know they can cry and ruin a man's career even if it's unfounded because once word gets out, they are damned.

Actual cases of rape, etc., are not what I am talking about in this thread. It's the gray stuff.