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Post by elynne on Apr 12, 2021 3:38:06 GMT -5
Been out since August 2019. Life is immeasurably better. Kids are happier, I’m happier. I have a boyfriend who is kind, loving and absolutely rocks my world in bed. The ex remains a self-centered asshole. He’s manipulative and dishonest. I still have to interact with him with co-parenting. So I do my best to keep things polite and matter of fact and to not share anything personal with him. Whenever I see one of your posts I wonder how it's going? Especially your daughters, and how much you have now "seen the truth" about your ex! Glad to hear that you all re happier!! SO much better! I’ve got a cute little house, it’s cozy and welcoming. Just moved my studio to an awesome location- twice the size of my old studio. It’s a fantastic space, high ceilings, great light. I’ve applied for my PhD! Really proud of my research proposal - to be honest it was the best thing I’ve ever written. It’s interesting, factual, passionate. Covers the major points of recent research and where my work would fit in. If I’m accepted, I’ll be doing a multi disciplinary doctorate combining figurative painting with neurobiology, exploring how intentional distortions of faces and bodies affect the emotions of people that view the artwork. It’s really cool stuff, with the potential to help people who have experienced trauma. In a nutshell, artwork that touches on the themes of trauma is less confronting than the trauma itself. Viewing artwork has a built-in regulation process. The viewer can switch to considering color or form or brushstrokes to distance from emotion and consider content and their feelings when they feel ready. I hear back in about 4 weeks if I’m accepted into the program. 🤞🤞🤞 And kids are going through teen stuff - and online schooling, all sports cancelled for a while was tough. But overall they are healthy, happy, amazing kids. They crawl into my bed for cuddles. They discuss politics with me, and relationships, school stuff, friendships. I’ve got a stronger connection with my children now. Life is so much better. I do regret not leaving earlier, but to be honest and fair to myself I didn’t realize just how messed up my marriage was. In the midst of that dysfunctional morass I had no sense of normal or acceptable. All of my energy was focused on surviving. It wasn’t until I was about to “go under” psychologically, that I used the last of my strength to get out. And then I could begin to heal. To find joy. To discover that I’m lovable. To enjoy myself and trust again. It’s been a process of discovery and wonder. And it’s mind blowing - like absolutely fucking mind blowing - how simple and easy and enjoyable and loving a relationship can be with a healthy partner!
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 12, 2021 18:16:57 GMT -5
Whenever I see one of your posts I wonder how it's going? Especially your daughters, and how much you have now "seen the truth" about your ex! Glad to hear that you all re happier!! SO much better! I’ve got a cute little house, it’s cozy and welcoming. Just moved my studio to an awesome location- twice the size of my old studio. It’s a fantastic space, high ceilings, great light. I’ve applied for my PhD! Really proud of my research proposal - to be honest it was the best thing I’ve ever written. It’s interesting, factual, passionate. Covers the major points of recent research and where my work would fit in. If I’m accepted, I’ll be doing a multi disciplinary doctorate combining figurative painting with neurobiology, exploring how intentional distortions of faces and bodies affect the emotions of people that view the artwork. It’s really cool stuff, with the potential to help people who have experienced trauma. In a nutshell, artwork that touches on the themes of trauma is less confronting than the trauma itself. Viewing artwork has a built-in regulation process. The viewer can switch to considering color or form or brushstrokes to distance from emotion and consider content and their feelings when they feel ready. I hear back in about 4 weeks if I’m accepted into the program. 🤞🤞🤞 And kids are going through teen stuff - and online schooling, all sports cancelled for a while was tough. But overall they are healthy, happy, amazing kids. They crawl into my bed for cuddles. They discuss politics with me, and relationships, school stuff, friendships. I’ve got a stronger connection with my children now. Life is so much better. I do regret not leaving earlier, but to be honest and fair to myself I didn’t realize just how messed up my marriage was. In the midst of that dysfunctional morass I had no sense of normal or acceptable. All of my energy was focused on surviving. It wasn’t until I was about to “go under” psychologically, that I used the last of my strength to get out. And then I could begin to heal. To find joy. To discover that I’m lovable. To enjoy myself and trust again. It’s been a process of discovery and wonder. And it’s mind blowing - like absolutely fucking mind blowing - how simple and easy and enjoyable and loving a relationship can be with a healthy partner! Narcissistic abuse victims are often highly empathetic, intelligent, capable and loving people! Yet the narcissist made our strengths look like weeknesses. They ridiculed our values and demeaned our emotions. We used to admire them, seeing all their strengths as superior. But now that we know the truth, we can use that strength to idealize ourselves. It's time to give ourselves a heavy dose of admiration! Woah, we are actually the one who is brilliant, charming, creative, and a sex god. Damn, we're awesome!! (and a healthy partner )
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 17, 2021 7:16:47 GMT -5
itme Others will criticize you for changing. Meanwhile some will compliment you for moving forward. Choose your circles of people wisely.
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Post by sadkat on Jun 17, 2021 21:46:53 GMT -5
So the 1 year mark has now passed. June 9. I remembered a couple days prior that I needed to celebrate it, but then I plum forgot. 😆 My life is chaos. My kids tolerate me from a distance so long as I don’t complain about the eggshells. My company is navigating explosive growing pains and I’m broke. Hiring people without sufficient cash reserve due to massive and increasing demand while simultaneously playing bill collector to multiple deadbeat clients who are > 60 days out to the tune of tens of thousands cumulatively has me stretched light years beyond any hint of a moment of business zen. I bought 2 houses from my divorce winnings and invested the rest in my company. 1 has a paying tenant. 😁 That rent goes into a retirement account and I’m not SUPPOSED to touch it. 😉😬😫 The other (non-IRA-owned) property housed a squatter posing as a tenant while not paying me a single dime for like 9-10 months, protected by the fed’s eviction moratorium. Thankfully, he’s gone now. Having to have all that capital tied up while paying taxes and insurance with zero income coming back to me really fucked up my financial mojo. So I just moved to the ghetto so I can be the squatter and live rent free in my house until I find my bearings. Unlike 2019, I have absolutely no personal life. Also unlike 2019, I have a tremendously full and personally-rewarding professional life. Every bar, restaurant, every music venue, every event, songwriter night, church service, Facebook post, YouTube video is a deliberate effort to overtly or covertly promote my professional brand. And it’s working. I’m a badass at sales (of our services). My close rate has to be about 95%. I am a miserably lost cause when it comes to managing cash flow, and unfortunately, so are the people I have working on this. I have only bothered to ask out (1) woman in the past year. Come to think of it, I have only asked out (1) woman in the past 20 years. She said no. I was 100% trying too hard - I plead guilty to the murder of the chemistry before it even had a chance to exist. I’m noticing I don’t even try with anyone else and they are lining up to flirt with me multiple times weekly. Sex is very mimimal in my life. And you know what? That is just fine with me right now: I feel more “wanted” now than at any other point in the past 15 years plus. I have never been so terrified about tomorrow since the day I walked out of my dead mother’s bedroom in 1990. I have a paid-for roof over my head, but I don’t even know how I’m gonna pay this months light bill. My head has been spinning since April... . . . . And I’m lovin’ every minute of it! There isn’t a snowflake’s chance on the surface of a supernova that I would go back to my pre-2020 status. Amen and amen. I have no doubt in my mind that you will get through this and will be richly rewarded for your hard work. Hang in there!
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Post by Handy on Jun 17, 2021 22:03:27 GMT -5
Padgemi The other (non-IRA-owned) property housed a squatter posing as a tenant while not paying me a single dime for like 9-10 months, protected by the fed’s eviction moratorium.
That seems so unfair to the people that have to pay all of their normal expenses. Here a "section 8 housing project" helps pay some rent to the property owner.
I talked with one guy that had rental property and the occupant didn't pay any rent for a long time. The occupant also didn't pay his car payment or pay for his car insurance. The occupant crashed his motorcycle (also no payments were mad ) into the car. The motorcycle started to burn, the car caught on fire and the fire spread to the house, which was totaled. The occupant did have money for some recreational drugs. Life is so unfair to some responsible people. The occupant just gathered up what was left and moved on with his life.
The home owner had to pay for a removal permit and pay the demolition company to load up the house into dump trucks and then had to pay the land fill fees for the remaining debris that didn't burn.
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Post by baza on Aug 12, 2021 0:29:52 GMT -5
Just giving this a bump-up again in light of the thread "Words of Wisdom" in another thread.
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Post by saarinista on Aug 12, 2021 16:58:26 GMT -5
Life is not fair. Don't you people know that?
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