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Post by workingonit on Oct 9, 2017 16:14:40 GMT -5
Hi all. Hard to believe this is the reality for so many of us! Having suffered for 8 sexless, intimacy-less years in silence, alone... I am here. Last year I told my best friends and started therapy to really dig into it. Literally before that I just dealt with it quietly on my own. Haha- mostly by NOT dealing with it. I am shocked by how many of us there are.
I am hoping to figure out through my work I am doing, including getting support like this group, if I should end my marriage. It is heartbreaking to even write those words. UGH. I hate that this is my life.
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Post by h on Oct 9, 2017 17:25:51 GMT -5
Hi workingonitSorry that you have the need to be here but I'm glad you found us. Welcome. You're among friends here. |
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Post by hopingforachange on Oct 9, 2017 18:30:12 GMT -5
workingonit welcome to the club none of us wanted to be part of. When you feel up for it, start a separate thread and let us know your story. It will hurt to acknowledge the pain but feel so good knowing we understand
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Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2017 9:49:31 GMT -5
Hello all, Didn't realise EP had spawned this forum. I'm glad to find it. I originally came across EP by accident - and ended up becoming involved with someone for more than two years. Sadly, it didn't/couldn't work out for us. We were at slightly different junctures of our lives, especially as regards our kids (hers were much older) so, understandably, she felt she had to end it. I came so close to leaving my marriage - but ultimately I had to put my daughters' wellbeing first. So I'm still here, still getting deeply unsatisfactory sex once in a blue moon and precious little in the way of affection or any kind of physical contact. I look forward to reading what you've all written and I'll try and contribute when I feel I have something useful to say. It's a struggle, that's for sure. Welcome and enjoy this place. We all understand and will offer what help and/or encouragement you need. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2017 9:55:05 GMT -5
Hi all. Hard to believe this is the reality for so many of us! Having suffered for 8 sexless, intimacy-less years in silence, alone... I am here. Last year I told my best friends and started therapy to really dig into it. Literally before that I just dealt with it quietly on my own. Haha- mostly by NOT dealing with it. I am shocked by how many of us there are. I am hoping to figure out through my work I am doing, including getting support like this group, if I should end my marriage. It is heartbreaking to even write those words. UGH. I hate that this is my life. Welcome jenm, and I hope this board helps. We have all walked the same path & will support you in whatever decision you may make. |
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Post by takestwototango on Oct 10, 2017 10:38:16 GMT -5
Hi all. Hard to believe this is the reality for so many of us! Having suffered for 8 sexless, intimacy-less years in silence, alone... I am here. Last year I told my best friends and started therapy to really dig into it. Literally before that I just dealt with it quietly on my own. Haha- mostly by NOT dealing with it. I am shocked by how many of us there are. I am hoping to figure out through my work I am doing, including getting support like this group, if I should end my marriage. It is heartbreaking to even write those words. UGH. I hate that this is my life. , so sorry you have to be here, but these people are great and you've found a good place to be. None of us wants to be here, but you have tons of support here! Welcome! |
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Post by M2G on Oct 13, 2017 22:14:12 GMT -5
Hi all. Hard to believe this is the reality for so many of us! Having suffered for 8 sexless, intimacy-less years in silence, alone... I am here. Last year I told my best friends and started therapy to really dig into it. Literally before that I just dealt with it quietly on my own. Haha- mostly by NOT dealing with it. I am shocked by how many of us there are. I am hoping to figure out through my work I am doing, including getting support like this group, if I should end my marriage. It is heartbreaking to even write those words. UGH. I hate that this is my life. Yes those are hard words any way you say them. Welcome, and sorry you ended up here. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 21, 2017 15:43:45 GMT -5
Hi, I just joined after reading some of your stories.
I’m so glad I found this place for support.
I got divorced a few months ago after a very, very long marriage - half of it dead, loveless and sexless and I feel lost and bereft.
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Post by hopingforachange on Oct 21, 2017 16:23:56 GMT -5
Welcome, and congratulations on getting out.
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Post by GeekGoddess on Oct 21, 2017 16:37:08 GMT -5
Welcome @rosie - glad you found us. It’s a great place for moral support.
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Post by DryCreek on Oct 21, 2017 17:41:37 GMT -5
Hi, @rosie.
It sounds like you've already overcome the milestone that many of us here agonize over. Not to say that's the easy part or the hard part - it all sucks, but at least it sounds like you're not in limbo anymore. Congratulations for being decisive!
It's been suggested here that it takes a year to re-acclimate for every 4-5 years in a bad relationship. It's not like a light switch, but I'll bet that reading and chatting here will accelerate the process and help you internalize that some spouses are just defective, through no fault of your own. It's also very helpful to gain insight to how we got into our situations in the first place, why we allowed it to continue, and how to avoid a repeat.
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Post by dinnaken on Oct 22, 2017 2:39:54 GMT -5
Hi @rosie
Welcome, I'm glad that you've found this site and I hope that you find support and help here.
Like you I've recently (four months ago) left a long (27 years) loveless and sexless marriage.
I'm sorry that you feel lost and bereft. I can remember, in the immediate aftermath, just sitting in a chair for hours - stunned. I had a couple of mild panic attacks in the supermarket (anyway that's what the doc told me they were), I had a lot of anxiety to deal with and really bad dreams, as well.
But for me things have started to get better and I now describe myself as 'happy' - and I am - but I'm conscious that I have a lot of underlying **** to deal with.
Very best wishes - you are not alone
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Post by M2G on Oct 22, 2017 10:12:01 GMT -5
Welcome Rosie - glad to hear of your escape!
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Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2017 13:22:24 GMT -5
Thankyou for your kind welcomes.
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Post by waterlanding on Oct 22, 2017 18:30:59 GMT -5
Hi folks I'm new to this forum. I was a regular over at the experience project, and tend to dip in and out when I can't cope with it all anymore and need to vent. I don't have anyone I feel comfortable talking about this with at all irl. My husband (refuser) and I have had issues going back almost 10 years now. I sometimes feel trapped and I want to scream. I'm too young for this shit!!!!! He appears to have no sexual urges, doesn't even masturbate very often, and in general has no empathy in life. I've suggested the doctors many times to get checked out but he doesn't want to go. We have a young family too so it's busy and I accept we are both tired a lot. But there is nothing from him, it's so depressing. After reset sex I often cry nowadays. It feels awesome and I still want him and fancy him, so I get mad with myself, and frustrated why he doesn't want to do it more. And then it just makes it awkward. What a mess.  |
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