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Post by h on Sept 6, 2017 5:46:14 GMT -5
Morning all and thank you. I did not even know a forum of this nature existed. I think most of us can recall some of our friends joking about, once the ring is on... or number one cause of marital sexual disfunction is wedding cake, and we laughed and probably thought, that will never happen to me. And so your nightmare evolves. Oct 18, 2014 was my last day of sex with my spouse. I will not say intimacy, because it was not. The worst or non-intimate sexual experience of my life. I regretted even trying. I felt like a monster. She laid there like a lifeless doll for the 2 to 3 mins it lasted. I made up my mine then. That will never happen again. And it has not. Before 10-18-14, it was 15 sexless months going back to 7-4-12. So once in five years. So why do I stay. I do still love her. Second, finances. She makes more money and our retirement accounts are comingled and I am 58. Third, we took legal guardianship of our 5yo paternal grandson and I could not afford to raise him. So, although I could leave, I stick it out for the betterment of several situations. I take care of my personal issue, myself. You know what I mean. The 4x6 banner, I posted at the end of our driveway on our last anniversary, I got nothing in return, not even a card. So sorry that you find yourself in need of this place but glad you found it. I hope being here helps. |
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Post by northstarmom on Sept 6, 2017 8:53:03 GMT -5
"It's difficult not being able to tell your friends and family."
There is no rule that you can't tell friends and family unless you create such s rule.
Once I started sharing with friends is when I really understood how abnormal and cruel was my husband's imposing sexlessness on me. My friends also reassured me that that I am attractive so didn't cause my husband's rejection.
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Post by h on Sept 6, 2017 9:20:42 GMT -5
"It's difficult not being able to tell your friends and family." There is no rule that you can't tell friends and family unless you create such s rule. Once I started sharing with friends is when I really understood how abnormal and cruel was my husband's imposing sexlessness on me. My friends also reassured me that that I am attractive so didn't cause my husband's rejection. Same here pixie and northstarmom . I started telling some of my family members and it was a huge weight off my shoulders. |
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Sept 6, 2017 9:52:16 GMT -5
Hello there. Im a little late to the welcoming party but I see that you have been well received already. Welcome to the club! Sorry that you had to find us. But since you are here, have a seat, grab a drink if you partake, take a look around and maybe you'll stay for a bit. Hopefully you'll find some support and useful information. And if you are up for it, you should check out some of the jokers on the lighter side sub folders. We are quite the motley crew. Happy to have you join us. Hi everyone! I hope I'm posting in the right place. Newly 40 and married for 16 years to my college sweetheart. When our sex life dwindled from what was normal for us, I looked for signs and started thinking the worst. He wasn't cheating on me, he's asexual. I don't know what direction I want to go. I heard about this site from someone in a local support group. |
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Sept 6, 2017 9:57:54 GMT -5
Welcome, welcome. Make yourself at home. Like others have said, Im sorry that you sought us out. But if you are here, I hope you find some comfort and support. You might even be able to have a few laughs. Hi there.... It´s sad to know there´s so many people in the same situation, but I´m feeling relieved at the same time knowing that I´m not alone. I´ve been reading a lot of your histories here in forum and I intend to tell mine soon cause I´m feeling so lost since I found out that I´m living in a SM.... I´m needing some advices... |
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Sept 6, 2017 10:03:34 GMT -5
Welcome pixie! Sorry to hear about your SM. But now that you found this group, I hope you will find some comfort in the company. Sounds like you've already had a chance to look around. Tell us your story when you are ready. Im sure you will find that many will be able to relate. Hello.. I'm new and lurking for a couple days now. I have been living in a sexless marriage for 7 years. It feels good to find a group of people going through the same thing only because here it can be discussed and hopefully no one will judge. It's difficult not being able to tell your friends and family. It can be draining to pretend all is fine. 😞 I have read quite a few posts, gave me hope, made sad, made me think. Eventually I will share my story. |
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Sept 6, 2017 10:08:10 GMT -5
ditchsurfer sorry to hear about the SM and that you had to seek us out. That anniversary story you recounted struck a nerve. You will find that many here just ouright ignore valentines day, anniversaries and other special days because its pointless to do otherwise. Sometimes its just better to acknowledge it as a couple so that there is no farce. Hope you decide to stay awhile and find some comfort in our company. Morning all and thank you. I did not even know a forum of this nature existed. I think most of us can recall some of our friends joking about, once the ring is on... or number one cause of marital sexual disfunction is wedding cake, and we laughed and probably thought, that will never happen to me. And so your nightmare evolves. Oct 18, 2014 was my last day of sex with my spouse. I will not say intimacy, because it was not. The worst or non-intimate sexual experience of my life. I regretted even trying. I felt like a monster. She laid there like a lifeless doll for the 2 to 3 mins it lasted. I made up my mine then. That will never happen again. And it has not. Before 10-18-14, it was 15 sexless months going back to 7-4-12. So once in five years. So why do I stay. I do still love her. Second, finances. She makes more money and our retirement accounts are comingled and I am 58. Third, we took legal guardianship of our 5yo paternal grandson and I could not afford to raise him. So, although I could leave, I stick it out for the betterment of several situations. I take care of my personal issue, myself. You know what I mean. The 4x6 banner, I posted at the end of our driveway on our last anniversary, I got nothing in return, not even a card. 
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pixie
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Post by pixie on Sept 6, 2017 10:31:14 GMT -5
"It's difficult not being able to tell your friends and family." There is no rule that you can't tell friends and family unless you create such s rule. Once I started sharing with friends is when I really understood how abnormal and cruel was my husband's imposing sexlessness on me. My friends also reassured me that that I am attractive so didn't cause my husband's rejection. Hi Northstarmom, There is no rule, I know. But i don't feel comfortable telling my family and friends about it. They know my marriage is not perfect but it's that one issue I won't discuss with anyone..not yet at least. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2017 10:53:01 GMT -5
Hi there.... It´s sad to know there´s so many people in the same situation, but I´m feeling relieved at the same time knowing that I´m not alone. I´ve been reading a lot of your histories here in forum and I intend to tell mine soon cause I´m feeling so lost since I found out that I´m living in a SM.... I´m needing some advices... Welcome feelingrejected. I look forward to reading your story. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2017 10:54:53 GMT -5
Hello.. I'm new and lurking for a couple days now. I have been living in a sexless marriage for 7 years. It feels good to find a group of people going through the same thing only because here it can be discussed and hopefully no one will judge. It's difficult not being able to tell your friends and family. It can be draining to pretend all is fine. 😞 I have read quite a few posts, gave me hope, made sad, made me think. Eventually I will share my story. Welcome Pixie. You will not find judgment here. The only people who have had bad experiences are refusers who try to come here & tell us that it is all our fault. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2017 11:00:24 GMT -5
Morning all and thank you. I did not even know a forum of this nature existed. I think most of us can recall some of our friends joking about, once the ring is on... or number one cause of marital sexual disfunction is wedding cake, and we laughed and probably thought, that will never happen to me. And so your nightmare evolves. Oct 18, 2014 was my last day of sex with my spouse. I will not say intimacy, because it was not. The worst or non-intimate sexual experience of my life. I regretted even trying. I felt like a monster. She laid there like a lifeless doll for the 2 to 3 mins it lasted. I made up my mine then. That will never happen again. And it has not. Before 10-18-14, it was 15 sexless months going back to 7-4-12. So once in five years. So why do I stay. I do still love her. Second, finances. She makes more money and our retirement accounts are comingled and I am 58. Third, we took legal guardianship of our 5yo paternal grandson and I could not afford to raise him. So, although I could leave, I stick it out for the betterment of several situations. I take care of my personal issue, myself. You know what I mean. The 4x6 banner, I posted at the end of our driveway on our last anniversary, I got nothing in return, not even a card. I am so sorry that you believe that you are stuck my friend. I understand. I left my joke of a marriage at 51, after 28 years and NO sex for almost 6 years. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but the best thing I have ever done. It is so sad that your refuser ignored your anniversary and your wonderful gesture, but that is typical of a refuser. They honestly feel that they are entitled to whatever they want. Read here, and try to take a good look at your situation. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2017 13:14:57 GMT -5
Hello.. I'm new and lurking for a couple days now. I have been living in a sexless marriage for 7 years. It feels good to find a group of people going through the same thing only because here it can be discussed and hopefully no one will judge. It's difficult not being able to tell your friends and family. It can be draining to pretend all is fine. 😞 I have read quite a few posts, gave me hope, made sad, made me think. Eventually I will share my story. I feel the same pixie... I´m so happy to have found this forum. |
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pixie
Junior Member
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Post by pixie on Sept 6, 2017 13:35:48 GMT -5
Hello.. I'm new and lurking for a couple days now. I have been living in a sexless marriage for 7 years. It feels good to find a group of people going through the same thing only because here it can be discussed and hopefully no one will judge. It's difficult not being able to tell your friends and family. It can be draining to pretend all is fine. 😞 I have read quite a few posts, gave me hope, made sad, made me think. Eventually I will share my story. I feel the same pixie... I´m so happy to have found this forum. :)I hear you.. |
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Post by mrslowmaintenance on Sept 7, 2017 0:56:10 GMT -5
Morning all and thank you. I did not even know a forum of this nature existed. I think most of us can recall some of our friends joking about, once the ring is on... or number one cause of marital sexual disfunction is wedding cake, and we laughed and probably thought, that will never happen to me. And so your nightmare evolves. Oct 18, 2014 was my last day of sex with my spouse. I will not say intimacy, because it was not. The worst or non-intimate sexual experience of my life. I regretted even trying. I felt like a monster. She laid there like a lifeless doll for the 2 to 3 mins it lasted. I made up my mine then. That will never happen again. And it has not. Before 10-18-14, it was 15 sexless months going back to 7-4-12. So once in five years. So why do I stay. I do still love her. Second, finances. She makes more money and our retirement accounts are comingled and I am 58. Third, we took legal guardianship of our 5yo paternal grandson and I could not afford to raise him. So, although I could leave, I stick it out for the betterment of several situations. I take care of my personal issue, myself. You know what I mean. The 4x6 banner, I posted at the end of our driveway on our last anniversary, I got nothing in return, not even a card. Oh yes!! I remember those jokes too! I heard our friends laughing and teasing him about me becoming a wet noodle in bed... And the jokes about him never leaving me alone, blah blah. Damn, I need that husband! That's a lot of life to share with someone. I'm glad you found this place but sorry you are here. I hope you can read and absorb some wonderful perspectives and uplifting banter! |
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Post by hopingforachange on Sept 7, 2017 7:22:50 GMT -5
"It's difficult not being able to tell your friends and family." There is no rule that you can't tell friends and family unless you create such s rule. Once I started sharing with friends is when I really understood how abnormal and cruel was my husband's imposing sexlessness on me. My friends also reassured me that that I am attractive so didn't cause my husband's rejection. Hi Northstarmom, There is no rule, I know. But i don't feel comfortable telling my family and friends about it. They know my marriage is not perfect but it's that one issue I won't discuss with anyone..not yet at least. You don't have to blurt it out. The next time there's a joke about sex, you can add to it, something like, sex what's that? Is that the thing we had 2 years ago? |
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