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Post by tirefire on Sept 16, 2017 10:15:36 GMT -5
Welcome jenjen! I only started posting here a little while ago but find it very therapeutic.
With a cute dog like that (your avatar), you'll go far. 😎
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Post by takestwototango on Sept 18, 2017 17:11:29 GMT -5
Hi all - been lurking around the site for a few days and decided I might as well join! It's inevitable anyways! I have only been married a little over a year. I should have seen the signs after our wedding night, but I was too stupid to, I guess. I know I'm "new," to this sm thing, but it is hell. I don't know how some people do this for years. I just can't see myself doing this for much longer. The H says he is willing to get tested for t levels, so at least he's willing to try something at this point. So, that appt is being made tomorrow, by me! Only time will tell. Wish me luck!!
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Post by hopingforachange on Sept 18, 2017 17:42:53 GMT -5
Hi all - been lurking around the site for a few days and decided I might as well join! It's inevitable anyways! I have only been married a little over a year. I should have seen the signs after our wedding night, but I was too stupid to, I guess. I know I'm "new," to this sm thing, but it is hell. I don't know how some people do this for years. I just can't see myself doing this for much longer. The H says he is willing to get tested for t levels, so at least he's willing to try something at this point. So, that appt is being made tomorrow, by me! Only time will tell. Wish me luck!! Welcome to the club no one wants to be a member of. Unfortunately, you have company here, there are a few woman that have been in a similar position as you. When you feel like it, please make a separate thread with your story. |
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Post by mrslowmaintenance on Sept 18, 2017 19:34:41 GMT -5
Hi all - been lurking around the site for a few days and decided I might as well join! It's inevitable anyways! I have only been married a little over a year. I should have seen the signs after our wedding night, but I was too stupid to, I guess. I know I'm "new," to this sm thing, but it is hell. I don't know how some people do this for years. I just can't see myself doing this for much longer. The H says he is willing to get tested for t levels, so at least he's willing to try something at this point. So, that appt is being made tomorrow, by me! Only time will tell. Wish me luck!! New or old, it hurts. We are here to listen and help where we can. The first year of my marriage was extremely rough and by the end I threatened divorce. I felt so disgusting and unworthy. Things can change and they can stay the same. The first year for me involved me asking two or three times a week and working two jobs while going to college... for him it was unemployed and wanking it three times a day. We went ten months without sex and three times for our entire first year (after an active sexual relationship pre engagement) It hurts so much, but I promise, you are fuckable and worth so much love. I hope you continue to lurk and/or post, and you can pm me anytime |
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Post by h on Sept 18, 2017 21:08:19 GMT -5
Welcome takestwototango and I hope you find some support here. I'm sorry you felt the need to join us here but I'm glad you found us. |
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boudinMan
Junior Member
frustrated
Posts: 91 
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by boudinMan on Sept 19, 2017 10:01:52 GMT -5
welcome, takestwo... hope you enjoy it here. Hi all - been lurking around the site for a few days and decided I might as well join! It's inevitable anyways! I have only been married a little over a year. I should have seen the signs after our wedding night, but I was too stupid to, I guess. I know I'm "new," to this sm thing, but it is hell. I don't know how some people do this for years. I just can't see myself doing this for much longer. The H says he is willing to get tested for t levels, so at least he's willing to try something at this point. So, that appt is being made tomorrow, by me! Only time will tell. Wish me luck!! |
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Post by mescaline on Sept 20, 2017 0:29:34 GMT -5
Another new member here, married for 9 years, two kids disappointing sexlife since the kids came along and no obvious solutions on the horizon. I've been searching for answers for years and stumbled across the concept of "why chasing", seems this is my excuse for procrastination! I really like the posts about "owning your own choices and decisions". As the kids are quite young, 6 and 8, and I'm the breadwinner I'm not going to be leaving in the near future, but I'm preparing myself for that eventuality in the medium term emotionally and mentally, and considering the financial aspects too.
I don't want my wife left in trouble, we both made choices and decisions together and I feel strongly that breaking those agreements would be morally unsound. Strangely, much more so than a seperation/divorce!
Anyway, I'll do a spiel in the appropriate forum when I get a chance. Thanks for setting this place up everyone, I used to read EP quite a lot so recognise a fair amount.
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Post by h on Sept 20, 2017 5:17:43 GMT -5
Welcome mescaline and I'm sorry you have the need to be here but I'm glad you found the place. |
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Post by hopingforachange on Sept 20, 2017 6:30:44 GMT -5
mescaline welcome, I've been married slightly longer and have slightly younger kids. Share when you feel your ready.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 20, 2017 7:33:27 GMT -5
Hi all - been lurking around the site for a few days and decided I might as well join! It's inevitable anyways! I have only been married a little over a year. I should have seen the signs after our wedding night, but I was too stupid to, I guess. I know I'm "new," to this sm thing, but it is hell. I don't know how some people do this for years. I just can't see myself doing this for much longer. The H says he is willing to get tested for t levels, so at least he's willing to try something at this point. So, that appt is being made tomorrow, by me! Only time will tell. Wish me luck!! Welcome!! First, if your H gets his T tested, be sure you get the actual numbers. The normal range is 400 to 1000 for ALL men. The first time mine was tested, it was 416 and I was told it was normal. It was normal for an 80 year old man. Two years later, I went to a doctor who uses biodentical hormones. Mine was 187 or so. I am on testosterone pellets and I feel much better. This site may tell you if there is a doctor in your area. www.biotemedical.com |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 20, 2017 7:35:17 GMT -5
I don't want my wife left in trouble, we both made choices and decisions together and I feel strongly that breaking those agreements would be morally unsound. Strangely, much more so than a seperation/divorce! Welcome. Just curious, did you make the decision to have a sexless marriage together? I know the answer, but I just wanted to remind you that your W has already unilaterally forced you into a live of celibacy. There is nothing more morally unsound than that. |
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Post by mescaline on Sept 20, 2017 8:19:54 GMT -5
Thanks Flashjohn, you are right of course. I justify it by reminding myself that our SM only directly affects me. The other decisions would affect the children.
Although I'm fully aware that if I scrutinise my decisions too much my rationale may collapse. Perhaps that's why I am here...
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Post by Deleted on Sept 20, 2017 10:17:58 GMT -5
Thanks Flashjohn, you are right of course. I justify it by reminding myself that our SM only directly affects me. The other decisions would affect the children. Although I'm fully aware that if I scrutinise my decisions too much my rationale may collapse. Perhaps that's why I am here... Yes, you are right that it only directly affects you. However, I can assure you that those effects are going to affect your children as well. They are watching and learning about marriage from you and your W. I thought my kids did not know how miserable I was, but they did. |
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Post by mescaline on Sept 20, 2017 13:00:28 GMT -5
I'm sure you're right again. Hobsons choice situation from my perspective though, and presently this is the lesser of two evils in my judgement. At the moment anyway.
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Post by hopingforachange on Sept 20, 2017 20:23:54 GMT -5
I'm sure you're right again. Hobsons choice situation from my perspective though, and presently this is the lesser of two evils in my judgement. At the moment anyway. My marriage is improving drastically from even 4 months ago. I am noticing that I have more pacients with my children and my temper is far less hot and takes longer to get angry then is did before. While I was staying for the kids, I was no where near the father I could have been. This reminds me,I need to write an update. |
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